Quotes About Joke

Okay. Good joke. That's obviously a fake name. Because I'm an expert on Lamont Cranston, aka the Shadow. And there's no way that's a real person.

Are you a contractor?" "No, I'm legit." He made me laugh, even at such an old joke. "Actually, I'm an architect. That's just a general contractor who doesn't have enough ambition to make any money.

what you call a blind rabbit sitting on your face? An unsightly facial hare.

Bacon. Pig. Cops are pigs. Get it? Freaking hilarious, no?)

one of his clamps, which are supposed to be like hands. "Was that a joke? If so

did you hear about the kid who drank eight Cokes? He burped seven up!

The Soviet Union represents a threat in terms of might. It is a joke in terms of its economy and what it has to offer the Third World - a laughingstock to countries that are looking for an economic-development model.

I try to do women's-point-of-view comedy. The joke is, 'This is what I think; there's the truth.' I try to think of stuff that's real broad, but the more personal it is, the more universal it is. All my friends go through the same stuff.

Women don't have a sense of humor. They don't need one. The Almighty made them as a permanent joke on men. From which one may logically deduce tha the Almighty is a female.

The power of women! I've never felt so full of mysterious power. Men are a joke.

My first joke was about a company called Five Star Parking that was all over Philadelphia: 'Who's reviewing parking lots?'

There was a joke in Czechoslovakia: The Communist Party dance, it's one step forward, two steps backward, and everyone is still clapping.

Today I asked Chloe to be my girlfriend,and she agreed. I sank my teeth into her neck and drank from her jugular in the library at lunchtime. She's agreed to join me as a vampire and she's moving in next week. April Fool!

I think Noah Hawley's writing is hilarious, and I love a good dark joke.

I got an email saying we were nominated for a Grammy, and I instantly thought it was a joke. So I started Googling the nominees, and there we were!

I have been invited to do something called 'Celebrity MasterChef' in England, which, of course, I can't do. It's complete nonsense. You have to be a decent cook to begin with. I'd be the joke one.

I've always been most drawn to fiction that wrestles with that death-fear. Sometimes I joke with my students, 'If no one is in danger of dying, I'm not interested,' but of course I'm not really joking.

There's a lot of nuances to stand-up that you definitely see when you watch someone like Chris Rock in that his body position is also part of why the joke works.

As a comedian, you're making so many observations, so many measurements. You might catch someone's eyes as you're telling a joke, and they can have this sort of glazed expression on their face, and that can set all your dials off.

I hate to give myself credit for anything, but I will say I really enjoy, as an actor, and especially with comedy stuff, playing with different rhythms and with different ways around a joke. There's always an obvious route, and there's one that maybe is a little bit different.

Why is it called Dr. Device?" "When it was developed, it was called a Molecular Detachment Device. M.D. Device." Ender still didn't understand. "M.D. The initials stand for Medical Doctor, too. M.D. Device, therefore Dr. Device. It was a joke." Ender didn't see what was funny about it.

The running joke was that at the graduation ceremony following their nine months of training, SAS graduates received the coveted tan beret in one hand and a broom in the other.

Dude, estoy aqui por loco, no por pendejo, which was the punch line to the funniest Spanish joke I knew. Okay, the only one. Google it.

There's an old joke about a skydiver who's blown off course and ends up landing in a tree, dangling above the ground. After awhile someone walks by and the skydiver asks where he is. The passerby answers, "You're about 20 feet off the ground." The skydiver replies "You must be a software analyst." "You're right. How did you know?" asks the passerby. "Because what you told me was 100 percent accurate, but completely worthless.