Quotes About Joke

Asked about the fact that Apple's iTunes software for Windows computers was extremely popular, Jobs joked, 'It's like giving a glass of ice water to somebody in hell.

Eckert, with his passion for detail and perfection, was the chief engineer. Eckert became so dedicated to the project that he would sometimes sleep next to the machine. Once, as a joke, two engineers picked up his cot and gently moved him to an identical room one floor up; when he awoke he briefly feared the machine had been stolen.

old physicist joke: they knew that the approach worked in practice, but could they make it work in theory?

Now Lewis joined in. 'A sicko walks into a bar,' he said. 'WHAM! And then i hit him with the bar again, an iron bar, and knock him flat, then i hit him again, and again and again until his brains are, like, smashed all over the pavement. And then i slice him up with my new katana!' 'Yeah, Lewis,' said Brooke. 'Funny joke. Way to lighten the mood, bruv.

You're a hard negotiator, Ray-Baby." "I'm going to get a lot harder if you call me that again." "Give me a minute. Less than a minute. I'm almost certain I can make a filthy joke in response to that." "No", I told him. "No, for the love of God, don't.

What was the joke the paratroops used in jump school? It's not the fall that kills you, it's the sudden stop.

The phones were ringing off the hook, and the sweetness in Allan Vasey's voice was almost purely a matter of routine. Had to be nice to the customers, man. At all costs. You had to keep them happy. In fact, just this morning, he'd pinned a bogus memo up over the dispatch desk: it said BE POLITE, OR WE'LL KILL YOU. Signed, The Management. At least two of the people who came into the office weren't sure that it was a joke.

Q: What's a cat's favorite vegetable? A: As-purr-agus!

...for the gods too love a joke...

It was a family joke that Lydia's domestic tendencies were somehow misplaced when she was created.

Honus was a wonderful fellow, so good-natured and friendly to everyone. Gee, we loved that guy. And the fans were crazy about him. Yeah, everybody loved that old Dutchman! If anyone told a good joke or a funny story, Honus would slap his knee and let out a loud roar and say, "What about that!" So

To make matters worse, the CEO was wearing a red clown's nose made of foam. It was the UK's Comic Relief Day, a nationwide fund-raiser where everyone wears red clown noses to raise money for charity. The rejection seemed like a bad joke indeed.

I also readily admit that there are animals, taken in the ordinary sense, that are incomparably larger than those we know of, and I have sometimes said in jest that there might be a system like ours which is the pocketwatch of some enormous giant.

Ich bin ein Berliner,' I said. It was a joke. A Berliner is a doughnut. The day after President Kennedy made his famous proclamation, Berlin cartoonists had a field day with talking doughnuts.

To arouse laughter, his appreciation of the point of the joke must be almost instantaneous, however long he may be in preparing for that appreciation.

The wisest and the best of men, nay, the wisest and best of their actions, may be rendered ridiculous by a person whose first object in life is a joke.

She joked about her fears, but it was the kind of joke where you knew people thought it was ridiculous, and you pretended you thought so too, but underneath you were completely serious.

I have a new joke today. Martha Stewart's on suicide watch. They had to unplug all of her ovens.

I joke, but only half joke, that if you show up in an American hospital missing a finger, no one will believe you until they get a CAT scan, MRI and orthopedic consult.

Contrary to reports, this boy is not a billionaire or going to be richer than any Beatle... and not just in the sense of money, by the way; the Beatles are untouchable - those billionaire reports are a joke.

Every funny story has at least one unusual thing in it.

For me, it's about having energy in the field and making sure I'm having fun and making sure everyone else around is having fun, whether it be telling a joke or something like that. It's to make sure we're all upbeat and we're ready to go.

See, justice is a joke in this country, and it stinks of its hypocricy.

Comedy is similar to hockey... in only one way. You get a lot of credit for assists. So I try to serve whatever the intention is, be it the joke or the story or the scene or the moment or the kiss, even if it's not my joke or moment.