Quotes About Challenges

It's good to be here. I'm just trying to go through life without looking stupid. It's not working out too well.

Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.

Only men who have worn a ski suit understand how complicated it is for a woman to go to the bathroom when she's wearing a jumpsuit.

Humor is one of the most serious tools we have for dealing with impossible situations.

When life hands you a lemon, say, 'Oh yeah, I like lemons! What else ya got?

Kids did really well in their A levels, how do we respond? 'A Levels are getting easier, in my day you had to do fifty questions in a minute, if you got one wrong, they killed your dad!

My father always used to say, "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger," - 'til the accident.

I joined gamblers anon., they gave me 2 to 1 I wouldn't make it! I joined AA, there was a two drink minimum!

That's one of the remarkable things about life. It's never so bad that it can't get worse.

British education is probably the best in the world, if you can survive it. If you can't there is nothing left for you but the diplomatic corps.

A sense of humor is a major defense against minor troubles.

Laugh at your worries and insecurities. View your anxieties with humor. It will be difficult at first, but you'll gradually get used to it.

Having a baby is like a DUI from the universe.

I have seen my kid struggle into the kitchen in the morning with outfits that need only one accessory: an empty gin bottle.

When things are at their blackest, I say to myself, 'Cheer up, things could be worse.' And sure enough, they get worse.

There's no question that the minute I got elected, the storm clouds on the horizon were getting nearly directly overhead.

Some people in England only have their wheelie bins collected once a fortnight. Their suffering is unimaginable.

Colleges hate geniuses, just as convents hate saints.

Humor is the best means of surviving in a difficult world.

I tried the Scarsdale diet and the Stillman water diet (you remember that one, where you run weight off trying to get to the bathroom).

I think part of being a parent is trying to kill your kids.

I learned that people in wheelchairs are allowed to have marathons … which, to me, seems like cheating, but what are you gonna say?

Not a Harvard-type education, just a not-sticking-up-a-liquor-store-type education.

Every year, hundreds of thousands of people try their hand at this demanding profession (humor columnist). After a few months, almost all of them have given up and gone back to the ninth grade.