Quotes About Self-care

Your key hobbies need to be long country walks (get some fresh air in those lungs!), masturbation, and the revolution. Between those three, you should, in the long term, stay relatively sane.

Sometimes... the first step to forgiveness is realizing that the other person... is batshit crazy.

Don't let your teeth make you lose respect by permanently keeping them opened for the sake of being friendly.

You gotta look out for number one, but don't step in number two!

I'm past competing in pissing contests. My jet stream is now more of a trickle. The only contest I'd win is the number of trips to the bathroom it takes to purge a 32oz soda.

Fries Before Guys

It's much more difficult to maintain personal hygiene if you're obese. Believe it or not, I've found items like remote controls and packages of cigarettes in people's fat rolls.

If you don't smell good, then you don't look good.

I used to jog but it's bad for the knees. Too much beta carotene turns you orange, too much calcium gives you kidney stones. Health kills.

It's adult swim time and I'm diving in here at the shallow end.

When all else fails...try smoking a good cigar and have a stiff drink. If that doesn't work...have another.

...Mrs. Percy understood that staying beautiful all day long is the most important aspect of being married...

First things first, though, I thought, and headed straight for the liquor cabinet. Times like this call for straight scotch, no rocks.

There will be days that you don't want to dress up and if you have some decent looking athletic wear, you can give the illusion that you've just been working out, as opposed to giving up on life.

I take really good care of myself. I promised myself long ago that I would never miss a hunting season, never poison my sacred temple with drugs, alcohol, tobacco or bad food.

Keep your problems to yourself, if its too much for you, kill it slowly till it disappears from your life.

The proverb warns that, 'You should not bite the hand that feeds you.' But maybe you should, if it prevents you from feeding yourself.

Don't drink at all, don't smoke, you must exercise and eat vegetables and fruit.

If you are not your own doctor, you are a fool.

Anything that makes weak - physically, intellectually and spiritually, reject it as poison.

As you breathe in, cherish yourself. As you breathe out, cherish all Beings.

If we're not willing to settle for junk living, we certainly shouldn't settle for junk food.

You can get old pretty young if you don't take care of yourself.

Read books. Care about things. Get excited. Try not to be too down on youself. Enjoy the ever present game of knowing.