Quotes About Awkwardness

The cracks in old friendships are measured in awkward pauses.

She's a warm fart at Christmas.

I bet dying vultures have lots of awkward moments with their friends. - Guy Endore

When you open the elevator on the top floor of a building and the other guy doesn't get out, something is seriously wrong.

I never said I was funny, OK, so stop staring at me.

So there I was lying in the gutter. A man stopped and asked '"What's the matter? Did you fall over?" So I said "No. I've a bar of toffee in my back pocket and I was just trying to break it."

One woman I was dating called and said, 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.

Most of the time when people laugh at me...I'm not trying to be funny.

Cuando una mujer llora frente a mí, me vuelvo indefenso y, además, torpe.

Replaying her words in my head, I could feel my face redden again. I wanted to flush my head down the toilet.

I was in a hotel room in Dallas, and I was jerking off so much and so sadly and pathetically, that the phone rang, and I thought it's them, they're complaining. ... "Sir, could you please stop?"

When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say.

Why can't I say anything normal?

It is funny the things that run through your mind when you're sitting in your underpants in front of a pair of strangers.

A member of the committee slapped a name tag over my left bosom. "What shall we name the other one?" I smiled. She was not amused.

If I had blood, I'd blush.

She tried to smile sympathetically, but with her face it wasn't quite possible.

It's funny because my main awkwardness around writing the song had little to do with the method.

I don't smoke a lot of pot anymore. No one wants to hang around a guy who ends every sentence with, "Do you guys hate me?"

They really cut to the chase in the urologist's examination room, and I tried to laugh. If this office were a movie, it would have been rated R.

Cole, for Christ's sake, will you stop staring at me like I'm beefcake of the month?

Maybe it was me, " Grandma said."Sometimes they sneak out.Did I fart?

I would never say snog. I would say osculate." She looks at me as if to say: why do you exist?

Didn't expect to see you here, " Jordan said.My eyes cut to Rachel, and I smiled sweetly. "Obviously. Hey, Rachel. Good to see you aga