Quotes About Awkwardness

If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.

I went to a meeting for premature ejaculators. I left early.

Men lose more conquests by their own awkwardness than by any virtue in the woman.

When you took your seat I felt as if a woman had come into my bathroom and I had only the sponge to defend myself.

People kept on calling. At first Armando told them that Jeff was in the bathroom. Then, when people started telling him that Jeff was in the bathroom a lot, he started telling them that Jeff had Irritable Bowel Syndrome.

You learn timing on the road. You learn structure and how to read an audience. You learn so much about the business of laughter that you can't learn on a set, because it's all on you. Sometimes you bomb, and you know not to tell that joke again... You just hope people find the humor in the awkwardness.

But how do you tell someone your genius ex-boyfriend invented microscopic nanobots to retrieve wayward sperm? You don't.

murderbot + actual human = awkwardness.

into the ground in front of everyone on a visit earlier

If you go flying back through time and you see somebody else flying forward into the future, it's probably best to avoid eye contact.

At the beginning and at the end of love, the two lovers are embarrassed to find themselves alone.

calm. "I'm just thinking I haven't really . . . um . . . seen you yet. I mean you seem . . . young. You feel really young." And beautiful. She felt very young and beautiful. "But if we get out of here and you're . . . uh . . . old and—" ugly—"sixty years old or something . . . well, it's going to be awkward.

he belonged to a special subcategory of human called a "teenager," the chief characteristics of which were a weakened resistance to gravity, a vocabulary of grunts, a lack of spatial awareness, copious amounts of masturbation, and an unending appetite for cereal.

silence   Humans fear silence. If you ever want to make one feel uncomfortable, stop in the middle of a conversation for no apparent reason. Then stare deep into their eyes.

In so many ways, Ascham thought, she was beyond her years—but in the presence of her father she became a little girl again. So confident and assured in private, now she moved with the stilted awkwardness of every twelve-year-old girl. Ascham's heart went out to her.

I wasn't one of the cool kids by any stretch. I just bumbled along really.

Oh no. Hell no. I'm not asking Ma for one of her bras. That's just...wrong."... "Your woman. You do it."..." You go. We'll pay for your therapy later.

The boy squirmed, long skinny legs wrapped round each other, rib-cage twisted ninety degrees from his hips in what appeared to be an impossible configuration of limbs. His elbows jutted out abruptly from his sides like some sort of drafting error and (independently aware of their awkwardness) his arms wound themselves round his torso like vines.

Ethan Figman, thick bodied, unusually ugly, his features appearing a little bit flattened, as if pressed against a mime's invisible glass wall, sat with his mouth slack and a record album in his lap.

Unfortunately for you, Scotty,' I said, removing his hand, 'they don't serve a drink called the Idiotfucker.

Misfortune is mostly an awkwardness!

Mine is the tongue tied silence of awkwardness, hers the smiling silence of anticipation, and then we utter inanities to each other, like "beautiful weather arranged for us" and "I like these kind of clouds.

The truth doesn't set you free, you know. It makes you feel awkward and embarrassed and defenseless and red in the face and horrified and petrified and vulnerable.

The truth doesn't set you free, you know. It makes you feel awkward and embarrassed and defense-less and red in the face and horrified and petrified and vulnerable. But free? I don't feel free. I feel like shit.