Quotes About Toilet

The hungry Judges soon the sentence sign,   And wretches hang that jury-men may dine;   The merchant from th' Exchange returns in peace,   And the long labours of the Toilet cease.   Belinda now, whom thirst of fame invites, 25   Burns to encounter two advent'rous Knights

How is Redbreast's Dad like a piece of toilet paper? He circles Uranus, looking for Klingons.

A long white ribbon shot out of the crack in the wall. The ribbon just kept coming, weaving itself into some kind of shape next to Anubis, and my first thought was, My god, he's got a magic roll of toilet paper.

Carter pulled out several lengths of brown twine, a small ebony cat statue, and a thick roll of paper. No, not paper. Papyrus. I remember Dad explaining how the Egyptians made it from a river plant because they never invented paper. The stuff was so thick and rough, it made me wonder if the poor Egyptians had had to use toilet papyrus. If so, no wonder they walked sideways.

I had made this mistake once before, on a school trip to the Victoria and Albert Museum, when I followed a sign marked WOMEN, thinking it was an exhibition on the changing roles of women in society, and actually ended up standing in the ladies' toilets.

The roof leaked and the toilet flushed with the kind of diminished enthusiasm that often precedes serious septic difficulties. She

Technically speaking, that means there was a lot of wee and poo in it.)

cubicle in the girls' toilets and fed the rat some of the bread she was meant to be saving for her lunch.

She thanked the toilet, but it did not respond. That was good—if she started to think of it as a sentient being, it would probably be much harder to poop in its mouth.

They discussed several other options, including sending it to the president to help him run the government. But they didn't think he would want money meant for a bribe, either. In the end, they snuck upstairs to the bathroom, where they ripped up the five-dollar bill and flushed the pieces down the toilet, laughing so hard they almost woke up Lydia.

CHRIS What's art, Holling Is a Davinci art Dada art If you wrap up the whole Reichstag in toilet paper, is that art HOLLING Well, I can't give you a complete definition, but I think it would be something Maurice would be willing to give good money for. CHRIS Yeah, well, you're starting to scare me cause if that's art, then I got to get a whole new gig.

He held my finger over the toilet at chest-level, let it dangle for several seconds, then dropped it. It landed with a small splash. "Adios, dear finger," said Mr. Burke. He flushed the toilet and watched happily. "Going . . . going . . ." I wondered if this was payback for his being dunked in the toilet once too often by bullies in school. "Going . . ." He frowned. "Aw, shit, it's still there. Fuckin' low-flow toilets.

If you leave it in uncooked rice for a couple of days, the rice will absorb the liquid," Roger said. "That's how I fixed my iPhone after I dropped it in the toilet.

Stanley flipped up the toilet lid and took a long piss, terrified that he might spring a leak and hit himself in the eye.

Fraternities are bizarre because, as a pledge, some clown who wears Hollister & Co. flip-flops exclusively will make you clean his toilet with a toothbrush.

If his drunkenness had legs, it would be Alexander the Great and conquer the known world. Then it would puke for a week into a solid gold toilet it stole from Zeus's guest room.

Art is borne out of necessity. Music is a tool and men are doers. When a relationship is working, you don't need to write a song-you need to get toilet paper.

That got a big laugh. For the rest of the journey, whenever there was a pause or the mood dipped, someone would repeat the punchline and everyone would laugh. This went on until the garrotting in the toilet.

Thou may leave the toilet seat up. But thou shalt not leave the toilet seat down and pee on it.

The miracle of modern science. The LEP pours millions into your department, Foaly, and all you can do is send Mud Boys to the toilet.

But calling up magic when there were arrows flying and chunks of the countryside disappearing was about as easy as going to the toilet on command with a dozen people watching. Who all hated you.

A series of tests conducted by Charles Gerba, a microbiologist at the University of Arizona, discovered far more fecal bacteria in the average American kitchen sink than on the average American toilet seat. According to Gerba, 'You'd be better off eating a carrot stick that fell in your toilet than one that fell in your sink.

British toilet paper. A way of life. Coated. Refusing to absorb, soften, or bend (stiff upper lip).

As we entered the pharmacy, I looked over the items on Miss Everett's list. Preventative powders, toilet vinegars, lavender water, Macassar oil, sea sponges, smelling salts, Bouquet de Rondeletia, extract of patchouli, Grosvrnor's Tooth Powder, cherry bounce, anisette. They were the trappings of women and in this case, of whores.