Quotes About Communication

If a man makes me keep my distance, the comfort is, he keeps his at the same time.

Not even the Washington Post understands humanity.

Speech is the mark of humanity. It is the normal terminus of thought.

Words are humanity's greatest natural resource, but most of us have trouble figuring out how to put them together. Words aren't cheap. They are very precious.

Language is one of the thin walls humanity has built up over centuries against its own bestial and destructive impulses.

Much of the academy on the humanities side, English departments in particular, no longer write what can pass for normal English.

When the eagles are silent, the parrots begin to jabber.

Times are bad. Children no longer obey their parents, and everyone is writing a book.

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.

My roommate says, "I'm going to take a shower and shave. Does anyone need to use the bathroom?" It's like some weird quiz where he reveals the answer first.

I have a crazy sense of humor so if someone is just trying to be rude to me, or if you can tell that someone is angry for no reason, I like to entertain them.

I would imagine that if you could understand Morse code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy.

If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?

Comedy is a great tool. We [comics] are trying to find ways to use humor to enlighten people without preaching to them.

You should never tell someone they have a nice dimple, because maybe they were shot in the face with a BB gun.

A dysfunctional family is any family with more than one person in it.

No means yes in grasshopper language.

Pre-mature ejaculation. Let's talk about it. Premature ejaculation. That's a pretty fancy term for, "Ooooooh Oh no. This has never happened before."

Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

A lot of good arguments are spoiled by some fool who knows what he is talking about.

I don't trust anyone who doesn't laugh.

Some people have a way with words, and other people...oh, uh, not have way.

Sometimes when it looks like I'm deep in thought I'm just trying not to have a conversation with people.