Quotes About Communication

Yesterday, at a restaurant, I asked the waiter how he prepared the chicken. He replied, "We don't...we just tell it straight that it's going to die!"

Most of the time when people laugh at me...I'm not trying to be funny.

No one will win the battle of the sexes, there is too much flirting with the enemy.

It's better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you're stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.

What I have to say is far more important than how long my eyelashes are.

Nothing more cheerful than talking about our friends shortcomings.

The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.

A married man should forget his mistakes; no use two people remembering the same thing.

When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that's a few steps ahead is the one that's mad.

Nothing spoils romance so much as a sense of humour in the woman.

The key to a good relationship is the key. Give me back the key.

In some families, 'please' is described as the magic word. In our house, however, it was 'sorry'.

The greatest thing in family life is to take a hint when a hint is intended-and not to take a hint when a hint is not intended.

People change and forget to tell each other.

Nothing is as frustrating as arguing with someone who knows what he's talking about.

I wonder why you can always read a doctor's bill and you can never read his prescription.

As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.

My friend has a baby, I am recording all the noises he makes so I can later ask him what he meant.

I never did very well in mathI could never seem to persuade the teacher that I hadn't meant my answers literally.

Sex is a two way treat and is only dirty when it's done right.

I went out with a guy who once told me I didnt need to drink to make myself more fun to be around. I told him, I'm drinking so that youre more fun to be around.

Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined as a person who remembers when there was no Velcro.

Remember that as a teenager you are at the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.

Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold on to him. After marriage, she has to hold on to him to make love to him.