Quotes About Communication

I promise you I will listen to what has been said here, even though I wasn't here.

Don't gobblefunk around with words.

I got my wife a mood ring. It works real good! When shes in a good mood it turns blue, but when shes in a bad mood theres a red mark across my forehead

Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore. I realized it was killing conversation. When you're always trying for a topper you aren't really listening. It ruins communication

Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial 'we.'

Why can't I say anything normal?

Overseas, language barriers keep me from doing a lot of talking and some of the jokes that I think are funny and they're like crickets. I have to sharpen up on that.

Umm thanks for the phone. I think I already broke it.

I never know how much of what I say is true.

I've never laughed a woman into bed, but I've laughed one out of bed many times.

If you're texting Magnus to say 'I think u r kewl' I'm going to kill you

Keep talking, someday you'll say something intelligent.

I think the reason I became funny was because if I made people laugh, they would let me keep talking.

On an occasion of this kind it becomes more than a moral duty to speak one's mind. It becomes a pleasure.

Shut up, Julius! I mean, quiet a moment, Commander.

Gentlemen, listen to me slowly.

I do not hold that we should rearm in order to fight. I hold that we should rearm in order to parley.

If you use tact you can say anything, then make it funny.

The worst thing ever that you have to explain your joke because I was very disappointed trying to explain why the joke is funny for the interrogator.

I only speak a little pigeon French. Just enough to get by with the little French pigeons.

I don't think of any sentence as a "one-liner", but I do pay attention to how people actually speak when they are being funny. Rhythm is key.

I think we should only get 3 honks a month on the car horn. Then, someone cuts you off, you press the horn, and nothing happens. You're like, "Crap! I wish I hadn't seen Ricky on the sidewalk!"

Let's bring it up to date with some snappy nineteenth century dialogue.

It's true that I have spoken about doing a book before, but then everyone you speak to is planning to write a book.