Quotes About Communication

Nobody believes the official spokesman, but everybody trusts an unidentified source.

Money isn't everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children.

A man explained inflation to his wife thus: 'When we married, you measured 36-24-36. Now you're 42-42-42. There's more of you, but you are not worth as much.'

We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police.

In life, it's not who you know that's important, it's how your wife found out.

Kid to his Dad as they watch TV: Dad, tell me again how when you were my age you had to walk all the way across the room to change a channel.

Television is to news what bumper stickers are to philosophy.

Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.

Never take a blind date to a silent film.

The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.

The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.

A stupid man's report of what a clever man says is never accurate because he unconsciously translates what he hears into something he can understand.

Laughter is the closest distance between two people.

My computer goes down on me more often than my girlfriend.

I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath'. For three years my husband and I slept on bunk beds.

Sex is better than talk...Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to sex.

Conversation like television set on honeymoon...unnecessary.

Sex is like bridge: If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.

Humans are the only animal who can have sex over the phone.

When I came here, I couldn't speak a word of English, but my sex life was perfect. Now my English is perfect but my sex life is rubbish.

Sex is a two-way treat.

You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither!

You see, money's not everything in life is it? but it keeps you in touch with your children...

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.