Quotes About Language

"No comment" is a comment.

When I'm 70 I might be a man in a park just wandering around, speaking in tongues with kids throwing bread at me.

The plural of spouse is spice.

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.

I think it's interesting that cologne rhymes with alone.

That does it," said Jace. "I'm going to get you a dictionary for Christmas this year." "Why?" Isabelle said. "So you can look up 'fun.' I'm not sure you know what it means.

I hope God speaks English. If I get up to heaven and have to point at a menu, I'm gonna be pissed.

The tongue is the only instrument that gets sharper with use.

The phrase 'domestic cat' is an oxymoron.

If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?

Writing in English is the most ingenious torture ever devised for sins committed in previous lives. The English reading public explains the reason why.

English is my second language. Laughter is my first.

Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?

I wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?

I, of course, don't have an accent. This is just how things sound when they are pronounced properly.

Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as '4's'?

whenever the literary german dives into a sentence, this is the last you are going to see of him till he emerges on the other side of his atlantic with his verb in his mouth.

Does anyone find it ironic how a program aimed at old people is called 'Countdown'?

We have a president for whom English is a second language. He's like 'We have to get rid of dictators,' but he's pretty much one himself.

Meow" means "woof" in cat.

If you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses.

2-in-1 is a stupid term, because 1 is not big enough to hold 2. That's why 2 was created.

You learn very very quickly that it is mostly about swearing, actually. That's all you're doing, swearing, in a box with wheels.

He can compress the most words into the smallest ideas of any man I ever met.