Quotes About Acceptance

And yet, people still turn to Jesus. You will notice though that the kind of people who turn to Jesus tend to be the sort of people who haven't done that well with everybody else.

I think fish is nice, but then I think that rain is wet, so who am I to judge?

I like all my children, even the squat and ugly ones.

When it comes to racism, you hear people say, "I don't care if people are white, black, purple or green." Hold on, now, purple or green? Come on now, you gotta draw the line somewhere.

Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. Sigh! There's so little hope for advancement.

I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.

I'm the munter of my friends. I've got wonky teeth and a lazy eye. My friend Rob is disgusted I'm a heart-throb.

Tomorrow is promised to no one.

We have normality. I repeat, we have normality. Anything you still can't cope with is therefore your own problem.

How can I die? I'm booked.

Life is tough, then you die.

The sad thing about true stupidity is that you can do absolutely nothing about it.

A reasonable amount of fleas is good for a dog; it keeps him from brooding over being a dog.

You got to pay your dues to get the joke. Besides, laughter is cheap and very portable. If there's a pogrom, or they're blaming you for the plague, nothing is easier to pack than a sense of humor.

I've learned to have absolutely no regrets about any jokes I've ever done.

You know, Freud accepted his lot very stoically and very well and with a sense of humor. He aged and died gracefully, and there's a lot to be said for that.

That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.

I can see the humor in just about any situation. After I lost my dad, I realized that none of us should take things too seriously, because everything except death works itself out.

You 50 year old one-breasted bag of meat. Just hang it up and be grateful some of your friends are still living.

If you're considered a beauty, it's hard to be accepted doing anything but standing around.

I do find that humor helps in relationships. It certainly helps in my marriage now because I'm a very, very fallible person. And if I wasn't funny I'd be kicked right out the door.

Everyone was laughin'. Even that deaf mute boy was breathing heavy and pointing at me. Which is laughter to their kind.

I never ask my wife about my flaws. Instead I try to get her to ignore them and concentrate on my sense of humor.

Jewish introspection and Jewish humor is a way of surviving . . . if you're not handsome and you're not athletic and you're not rich, there's still one last hope with girls, which is being funny.