Quotes About Irony

This is a perfect pair - he's a hypochondriac and she's a pill.

I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first divorced me and the second won't.

Bigamy is having one husband too many. Monogamy is the same.

Conrad Hilton was very generous to me in the divorce settlement. He gave me 5 000 Gideon Bibles.

According to your medical checkup, you are dead.

HOMÅ'OPATHIST, n. The humorist of the medical profession.

A homeless guy came up to me on the street, said he hadn't eaten in four days. I told him, "Man, I wish I had your willpower.

The irony of New Testament lordship is that only in slavery to Christ can a man discover authentic freedom.

Nurse: "Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office". Doctor: "Turn him around, make it look like he was walking in."

A man goes to the doctor for a check, and the doctor exams him and says I've got bad news, you've got cancer and alzheimers. The man goes Thank god I don't have cancer.

We always want the best man to win an election. Unfortunately, he never runs.

Some men are alive simply because it is against the law to kill them.

A car hit a Jewish man. The paramedic says, "Are you comfortable?" The man says, "I make a good living."

They went inside. The young ones shuffled to a stop as their ironic sensibilities, which served them in lieu of souls, were jammed by a signal of overwhelming power.

The Police Minister's toilet chided him

The virus of irony is as widespread in California as herpes, and once you're infected with it, it lives in your brain forever.

That man behaves so much like the villain in a work of literature, it's almost funny," Arsibalt observed.

They are running a secure operating system you've never heard of," he explained. "It's called Shiny Hat." "Shiny Hat." "Yes. The most clinically paranoid operating system in the world. Since you have an overdeveloped sense of irony, Stokes, you might like to know that we acquired it from hackers who were specifically worried about being eavesdropped on by shadowy government entities. Now they work for us.

parents of small children must perforce have an entirely different sense of irony than unimpaired humankind.

The user interface is so easy to use, I can't do anything.

Sometimes there was no gap between joke and real.

Most of you, therefore, spend the bulk of your adult life searching for the "right" way to worship, to obey, and to serve God. The irony of all this is that I do not want your worship, I do not need your obedience, and it is not necessary for you to serve Me.

How could I ask for "horse" with a straight face? And, if I were doing heroin, then I'd be a depressed teenager on heroin. I didn't need to be that cliché.

First of all, as you know, there are two kinds of people in the world: those who divide everyone into two kinds of people and those who don't. But actually, there are three kinds of people in the world: those who are good at math and those who aren't.