Quotes About Irony

I'm a babe magnet — but the wrong end.

How come wrong numbers are never busy?

Sarcasm is the sour cream of wit.

Sarcasm: It's how I hug.

He started a sarcastic smile, but quenched it, according to the etiquette of his profession.

I'm fluent in bad puns and sarcasm.

I just read that men reach their sexual peak at 18. Women reach their sexual peak at 35. Do you get the feeling that God is into practical jokes? We're reaching our sexual peak right around the same time they're discovering they have a favorite chair.

A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers.

In Switzerland they had brotherly love, five hundred years of democracy and peace, and what did they produce? The cuckoo clock!

Maybe you've got the patience to work out some complicated, long-term, ironic way to get back at the people who've wronged you, but that's you.

I shake my head, horrified. "How can you say that? We've stayed free. We've struggled so hard to stay free." She shrugs. "Maybe. Or maybe we've been captured by what you call freedom.

The irony is that you can't use real rain to make movies.

I can't not find humor in elements of most parts of life, but at the same time nothing ever seems perpetually funny to me.

Honesty and unpopular opinions are the toughest sell in a country with an irony-deficiency.

Bush looked straight into the camera and said 'We must preserve the sanctity of marriage!' You know, straight people are doing such a fucking great job.

so that people don't have to learn these things on their own, but ironically, their founders and instructors are often teaching themselves how to teach.

Another irony is that the achievement of mass affluence in much of the world--the decline in child mortality, the extension of adult life spans, and the reduction in inequality--have not made us any happier than our hunter-gatherer forebears.

This is why we can't have nice things: bears chase the bulls while China shops. Ah, unbearable lightness of bling! Everyone waits for one-eyed kings. The sharpest corners wait for shins. This is why we can't have nice things.

If fate doesn't make you laugh, you just don't get the joke.

It would be an irony of history, or another lesson about the unintended consequences about using force, that [Najibullah's] regime would outlive the Soviet Union that was convinced it had a duty to teach the world how to think and live.

I have nothing but confidence in you, and very little of that

Die, my dear? Why that's the last thing I'll do!

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.

The only real laughter comes from despair.