Quotes About Self-deprecation

I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.

This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me.

Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'

How big are you, really? I always say that I'm two inches... from the floor.

I am like Hugh Hefner minus anything good about his life.

A good comedian makes own funny jokes to make the people laugh but a great comedian makes the fun and jokes of oneself to make the people laugh.

Once you get past funny, my other qualities are so below average. It's not like I'm handy.

Self-deprecation runs right through queer culture. It was seen as a badge of honor. I started to feel like perhaps it was destructive as well.

The guys have told me not to quit my day job.

I never said I was a genius.

I'm clearly not a major legal genius.

I don't take me seriously. If we get some giggles, I don't mind.

I giggle when I put myself down. It's just funny to me.

I'm bad at golf.

Incongruity, they say, is one of the main ingredients of humor. Maybe it's because everybody can feel superior to me. I honestly don't know.

I'm really spectacularly thick in all areas of my life except comedy and science. I'm crap at everything else.

Fox is notorious for having a very thick skin about taking shots at themselves.

I've been in a lot of tough businesses: First Lady of San Fransciso, working as model, actress, TV host. You better have thick skin, for sure, but you also need to laugh at yourself. I make fun of myself all the time.

There's no shame in being second to Stephen Fry. Unless it's in a straight nose competition.

Message: I can make fun of myself despite my perfection: I am more like you in this regard: it's safe for you to like me: please desire me: please give me your money for the honor of desiring me.

Not me," said Jimmy, trying to joke. "I don't have a price." Wrong, as usual.

Can't act. Can't sing. Slightly bald. Can dance a little.

It's true, and I was really hideous as a preteen. Tall and gawky. I used to bump my head into everything. Still do sometimes. (Kat) You are my daughter. (Acheron) Sure I am, I can't imagine you ever being uncoordinated. (Kat) Oh, I assure you I've nailed quite a few signs with my forehead. It's a wonder 'Exit' isn't permanently imprinted right between my eyes. (Acheron)

Yeah, it's me, but I like to think I looked better when we met. 'Cause right now, I'm pretty much hogging all the ugly. (Nick)