Quotes About Entertainment

Milton Berle is an inspiration to every young person that wants to get into show business. Hard work, perseverance, and discipline: all the things you need...when you have no talent.

I once shook hands with Pat Boone and my whole right side sobered up.

In the end, everything is a gag.

You go to your TV to turn your brain off. You go to the computer when you want to turn your brain on.

There are now more TV's in British households than there are people - which is a bit of a worry.

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

My father hated radio and could not wait for television to be invented so he could hate that too.

Never take a blind date to a silent film.

A day without laughter is a day wasted.

Over the past 50 years Bob Hope employed 88 joke writers who supplied him with more than one million gags, and he still couldn't make me laugh.

If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.

I've been in more laps than a napkin.

What's the most popular pastime in America? Autoeroticism, hands down.

I once made love to a female clown, and she twisted my penis into a poodle.

I was on a game show. When I lost, they gave me a lovely parting gift. It was a comb.

Hosting the Oscars is like making love to a beautiful woman - it's something I only get to do when Billy Crystal's out of town.

In Beverly Hills...they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.

Ever since they found out that Lassie was a boy, the public has believed the worst about Hollywood.

I thought 'Deep Throat' was a movie about a giraffe.

It's a scientific fact. For every year a person lives in Hollywood, they lose two points of their IQ.

I have always been a huge admirer of my own work. I'm one of the funniest and most entertaining writers I know.

One of my movies was called True Lies. It's what the Democrats should have called their convention.

I'm affectionately known by Elton John as either Sylvia Disc or the Bionic Christian.

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.