Quotes About Relationships

Marriage is like a toothbrush. It starts out smooth and gets kind of prickly towards the end.

You really don't know a person until you spend some time in their panties.

Dating is like nightfall--there's got to be a mourning after.

Dating--the socially accepted alternative to the rack.

It'd hardly be worth having a brother at all, if you couldn't smack him in the head every once in a while.

It's not who you know, it's who you sleep with.

You lose a couple of pounds and get a guy good and drunk, you could have a hell of a good time even if you are not smart.

They say love makes the world go around… I been dizzy for a long time.

Because being assaulted with maxi pads is a great way to win friends and influence people.

Sometimes we know people who aretoo wonderful for words. I am not one of them.Or you, for that matter, as you well know.

If a man can't love you for who you are, he's not worth The Dior Gloss.

Nothing helps your partner keep his mind on Jesus more than having a sign of His love tanned on your primary erogenous zones.

Being with her can prove difficult, but life without her would be unbearable.

Your boyfriend smells bad, says Sarah as she sniffs the armpit of the giant sweatshirt.All boys smell bad I say and she nods her head like we have just figured out something very important.

Never laugh at your wife's choices… you're one of them

The key to being a great agent is treating everyone like a celebrity and treating a celebrity like everyone else.

Seasoned digital daters are like lions who have had their prey killed, butchered, and served to them on a tray in their artificial habitat for so long that they've forgotten how to hunt.

You men deserve whatever rabbit-boiling scenario dating crazy women gets you.

Maybe love is something we're meant to say casually and not regard as a prize from a treasure chest that a person earns.

I'm thinking there should be a dating site called "Tap That" - Jonathan "Jack" McVoy

How can you love someone who doesn't think they deserve to be loved?

Are you going to give her gonorrhea too, or was that gift just for me?

The difference between a man and a woman is whether to ask for directions.

My therapist told me that I over-analyze everything. I explained to him that he only thinks this because of his unhappy relationship with his mother.