Quotes About Relationships

Food is our common ground, a universal experience.

Ever since Eve started it all by offering Adam the apple, woman's punishment has been to supply a man with food then suffer the consequences when it disagrees with him

Sometimes it's just easier to tell a stranger than to tell the people you are close to. The freedom of speech is my liberation from solitude and if you should take that negatively or with annoyance then that's on you to look the other way.

It hurts to let go of someone you love most, but maybe it's the best freedom you'll ever give them. Love is a sacrifice.

A girl only needs three things in her life: love to make her weak, alcohol to make her strong, and friends to pick her up when the first two make her hit the ground.

The best way to make somebody remember you, borrow money from them.

You call it it multiple personalities, I call it social networking in my head!

The advantage of growing up with siblings is that you become very good at fractions.

Dating an ex is the equivalent of failing a test you already had the answers to.

I love everybody. Some I love to be around. Some I love to avoid. And others I love to punch in the face.

All sincere boys fall in love with stupid girls, all sincere girls fall in love with stupid boys, I am neither stupid nor sincere, that's why I am 'SINGLE'.

A man who says marriage is a 50-50 proposition doesn't understand two things: 1 - Women, 2 - Fractions.

Girls work on their looks but not on their minds because they know boys are stupid, not blind.

If you're sad about being alone on Valentines Day, just remember that nobody loves you on any other day of the year either.

My girlfriend said she wanted me to be more like her Ex. So I dumped her.

All The Desirable Things In Life Are Either Illegal, Expensive Or Married :

Treat me like a joke and I'll leave you like it's funny.

Don't hate me because I'm handsome, hate me because your girlfriend thinks I am.

Reasons to date me: I laugh at my own jokes so you don't have to.

Stop complaining about being single. We have bigger problems here. Like why McDonalds doesn't serve breakfast after 10:30.

When I'm stalking my exes on Facebook, sometimes I think, 'I should have never let her go.'...but most times I think, 'She really let herself go.'

X's and O's for my ex's and hoes.

I was making out with this woman, and my shirt was off, and she leaned over and, in a really cute, girly voice, went, 'Hey, fatty!'

Always be nice to people to their face. Then when they turn around, berate the back of their head.