Quotes About Comedy

I'd love to do comedy. And I think I have a pretty good sense of comic thing, so I'd really like to try that.

Whenever I meet a pretty girl, the first thing I look for is intelligence; because if she doesn't have that, then she's mine.

In a late-night monologue, it's not just about being funny; you have to come off as knowledgeable. You have to cultivate a persona of trust and intelligence and likeability.

It takes a surprisingly large amount of intelligence to be a professional idiot.

In comedy, I hate that cop-out where you say, "Just kidding." I know you're just kidding. Don't insult my intelligence by spelling it out for me that much.

If there's an intelligence behind the joke - - it's a good joke.

The others were only my wives. But you, my dear, will be my widow.

It is the business of a comic poet to paint the vices and follies of human kind.

A Canadian psychologist is selling a video that teaches you how to test your dog's IQ. Here's how it works: if you spend $12.99 for the video, your dog is smarter than you.

The Discovery Channel had a fascinating show on the mating habits of hyenas. They said that the male hyena often will get angry at the female hyena while they are having sex. It doesn't help that the female hyena is laughing at you all the time.

You cannot be mad at somebody who makes you laugh - it's as simple as that.

I was going to buy a book on hair loss, but the pages kept falling out.

My favorite laser disk ever was the laser disk for The Graduate, which had a commentary track that wasn't even the filmmakers, it was a professor, some film criticism guy who just happen to be this amazing commentator who went off into the whole theory of comedy.

I did work at a mall in college - I think retail/customer service is just one of the most hideous jobs in the world. So I always try to be extra nice when I go into a store. But malls are part of our culture, if you watched any teen comedy in the '80s. it's clear that malls are where we live!

Life with Mary was like being in a telephone booth with an open umbrella-no matter which way you turned, you got it in the eye.

Life is a comedy to those who think, a tragedy to those who feel.

Semicolon, you dolt!

Jean-Baptiste Poquelin

some reason the French love to laugh at Belgians. Belgian jokes are like Newfie jokes in Canada or Vermont jokes in New England (we can testify that the same cookie-cutter stories circulate freely between languages).

Movies with interfering in-laws and kids are often presented as comic, the ridicule bringing welcome relief to beleaguered married folks suffering offscreen at the hands of relatives.

The ghastly mother-in-law is well represented by a little comedy film of 1952: No Room for the Groom, directed by Douglas Sirk, the fine German director more famous for his melodramas that humanely criticize American morals and values.

He mispronounces the word hombres in the style of the US president who, attempting to call migrants bad men, inadvertently referred to them as bad hunger instead. It's a joke now, full of irony. Bad hunger. El comandante toes the line.

This is truly a sad comedown for a man and a Geiger. Please say you'll talk some sense into him.

You know me. I've got a warped sense of humor at the worst times.