Quotes About Comedy

Life is a drama full of tragedy and comedy. You should learn to enjoy the comic episodes a little more.

I love John Irving's stuff. It's that marriage of comedy and tragedy. It's really terrific.

I know I'm getting older. I pulled my left shoulder out putting peanut butter on a bagel. It was chunky, though. I pulled out my right shoulder putting Ben Gay on my left shoulder.

And regardless of the fact that in this country, certainly in the arts, we treat comedy as a second-class citizen, I've never thought of it that way. I've always thought it to be important. The last time I looked, the Greeks were holding up two masks. I've always thought of it not only as having equal value, but as the craft of it, being funny.

If you pull at babies too hard, they'll spew like a can of beer. I used to shake up my daughter and hand her to people I didn't like. "Hold her just a minute, would ya?"

For the first time ever I was taking the family on the road. We stayed with my in-laws, which on life's list of experiences ranks right below sitting in a tub full of scissors.

I got my wife a mood ring. It works real good! When shes in a good mood it turns blue, but when shes in a bad mood theres a red mark across my forehead

If you think fast food is hittin a deer att 65 miles per hr.. you might be a redneck

You might be a redneck if your dogs name is Miller Light

If you think the last four words to the national anthem are " gentleman, start your engines", You might be a redneck.

If you think a quaterhorse is that ride in front of Kmart.. You might be a rednneck

Loded Diaper

Do you want me to apologize after every joke? If it doesn't offend somebody it's probably not a joke. It's probably an observation that's not funny. It's gotta offend somebody somewhere.

I've actually tried to roast somebody that I don't like, and it doesn't go well. Either they're a bad sport or I'm not as funny as I could be.

Humor that is edgy is never squeaky clean.

My parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles were all funny, and I felt that energy, that delivery, that timing, that sarcasm. All that stuff seeped into my brain.

If we keep him for ourselves, we can do anything we want with him!' 'OH, REALLY?! Does that include baking him in a quiche?!' 'NO, IT DOES NOT INCLUDE THAT! IT INCLUDES EATING HIM RAW!' 'That's too bad. He would've made a fine pastry filling.

Now, this is going to hurt just a little bit, sort of like having your flesh shredded with a cheese grater from the inside and then microwaved. But don't worry, it's not addictive.

That bastard's brain waves had infiltrated my scrotum, reconnecting my vas deferens

The problem with having so many naked women trying to hump me senseless was… Actually, there was no problem with it at all.

Well you improvise with some people better than with others… [Mike Nicholls and I] had the same kind of playfulness. We enjoy the same kind of pretend. As kids do. You know. If he had come and said: 'I'm a doctor, are you sick?' I would have said, if I was kid: 'I don't feel good'. Because I wouldn't have said: 'Whaddya mean?' I would have known what he was doing. We were very childish for our age.

Thought it was funny to answer his phone by saying, "You DID?

Quick, how do you pick up a cat? Buy her a drink.

The trick of comedy," said Billy, "is not to perform it in a comic manner. Don't try to be funny, and you'll be funny.