Quotes About Comedy

I've done 'Letterman' twice and he was friendly, he said hello as he was shaking your hand and in front of the audience, but you never spoke to him before or after.

I got 'Will & Grace,' and I thought, 'Oh, this is different. I don't know how to handle this. I'm not bright enough; I'm not quick enough, I don't have the DNA to be a spokesperson for any kind of group of people.'

I set out to be a comedian, and then the spokesperson thing is kind of just something that came along with it.

For a comedian to kind of catch onto something right as something's catching on in our culture, a lot of it is luck, and you hope the joke is funny.

Good Luck Chuck, a comedy starring Dane Cook and Jessica Alba, opened today, and critics are saying it has all the belly laughs you've come to expect from Jessica Alba.

When we got married, we agreed on a boy for me, and a girl for you. Mine's upstairs sleeping. Good luck with yours!

How many husbands have I had? You mean apart from my own?

The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him.

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.

Was the Buddha married? His wife would say, "Are you just going to sit around like that all day?"

The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin.

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong.

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.

The only thing my husband and I have in common is that we were married on the same day.

All tragedies are finished by a death, All comedies are ended by a marriage.

Recipe for a happy marriage: My wife and I always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

Being a good husband is like being a good stand-up comic - you need ten years before you can even call yourself a beginner.

Last time I tried to make love to my wife nothing happened, so I said to her, 'What's the matter, you can't think of anybody either?'

My wife gives good headache.

Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.

What makes people laugh? . . . It's a happy marriage between a person who needs to laugh and someone who's got one to give.

Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.