Quotes About Comedy

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

Man is distinguished from all other creatures by the faculty of laughter.

Oh, I was an ugly kid. My old man took me to the zoo. They thanked him for returning me.

Something about New York, man: You can do more comedy there probably than you can anywhere in the world. If you're interested in being funny, New York is the place to go.

I'm a straight lady, the best in Hollywood. There is an art to playing the straight role. You must build up your man, but never top him, never steal the laughs.

They took a survey: Why do men get up in the middle of the night? Ten percent get up to go to the bathroom and 90 percent get up to go home.

The duty of comedy is to correct men by amusing them.

It was really bizarre. I was learning how to be a black guy from a white guy pretending to be a black man.

There are many humorous things in the world; among them, the white man's notion that he is less savage than the other savages.

I have never pretended to be any kind of super-religious kind of man, but I feel very strongly that you can be funny without being dirty.

One woman and one man might have been OK in your grandmother's day, but who wants to marry your grandmother? Not even your grandfather!

Once a woman passes a certain point in intelligence she finds it almost impossible to get a husband: she simply cannot go on listening without snickering.

Apparently the part of the brain that identified things as funny kept running as a background process even when its contributions were useless.

So far I have felt like a very inept slapstick performer." "Inept slapstick? Isn't that a bit redundant?

Rudy is a mutt; my father says he's a cross between a chihuahua and a German shepherd, which must've been some wild dog sex.

OSCAR. ( With a pointing finger. ) I'm warning you. You want to live here, I don't want to see you, I don't want to hear you and I don't want to smell your cooking. Now get this spaghetti off my poker table. FELIX. Ha! Haha! OSCAR. What the hell's so funny? FELIX. It's not spaghetti. It's linguini! (OSCAR picks up the plate of linguini, crosses to the doorway, and hurls it into the kitchen. ) OSCAR. Now it's garbage!

Number 2 son: I don't hear nothin. What do you hear? Inspector Wang: Double negative and dog.

The way to a woman's heart is through her funny bone. Women like men who make them laugh. I think.

Two cannibals were eating a comedian, and one of them turns to the other and asks, 'Does this taste funny to you?

Oh yeah? What did you have last night? Turkey sandwich on wheat. With a pickle. And the night before? Turkey sandwich on wheat. No pickle. She giggled. What was the last hot meal you cooked? He pretended to rack his brains. Uh...beans and franks. On Monday.

Nobody mountain bikes anymore - or ever did - in comedy, so I have to go by myself.

I love the basic comedy of growing a moustache.

As soon as a roast is announced, I get everybody - family, friends, waitresses, cab drivers - giving me jokes about the person getting roasted. I'm the mouthpiece for the masses.

You gotta understand, there weren't a whole lot of roles for Hispanics in the Eighties, so comedy was really the way I could really feed myself and eventually feed my family. I was an actor who learned to be a comic, and it's cool to come back and get back into acting - move forward in the direction I started out to do in the beginning.