Quotes About Comedy

Old married people look so much alike that they have the same number of hairs in their ears.

All tragedies are finished bya death, All comedies are ended bya marriage; The future states of both are left to faith.

Probably the most important single element that I found in my own marriage was a sense of humor. My wife had a delicious sense of humor, and I think I have an adequate one.

I think that sense of humor is important in marriage. A sense of humor gets people through marriage.

I've done a lot of Fox shows since then - Married with Children, Living Single and a whole bunch of other Fox things.

Absolutely nothing was happening in my marriage. I nicknamed my waterbed, Lake Placid!

Thou art sad; get thee a wife, get thee a wife!

Well, no, not married as such, but yes, there is a specific girl that I'm not married to.

When I married Mr. Right I didn't know his first name was Always.

My wife and I have many arguments but she only wins half of them. My mother-in-law wins the other half.

You can easily tell he's a newlywed because he's still smiling at his mother-in-law.

This is a perfect pair - he's a hypochondriac and she's a pill.

God this request isn't for me it's for my mom. . . . Could you send her a son-in-law?

Bigamy is having one husband too many. Monogamy is the same.

Men who think deeply appear to be comedians in their dealings with others because they always have to feign superficiality in order to be understood.

It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.

I'm not a naturally funny man. I find that I can only be funny, if I become someone else.

I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!

The Man of a Thousand Voices

No man can be a genius in slapshoes and a flat hat.

Nurse: "Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office". Doctor: "Turn him around, make it look like he was walking in."

A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so he gave him another six months.

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

A Polish man had his vasectomy done at Sears. Now when he makes love, the garage door goes up.