Quotes About Comedy

Little Boy Blue... he needed the money!

Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won't be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did

Will you marry me? Do you have any money? Answer the second question first.

& I'm all up all up all up in the bank with the funny face

I was so in love with the idea of making people laugh for a living that I didn't care what I had to do to get there. Or how much money I was going to make when I did get there.

What I really need is a woman who loves me for my money but doesn't understand math.

All my life's about is cracking up people and them cracking me up and trying not to think about dying. That doesn't cost very much money.

Most of the offers I get from Hollywood are for teen comedies. My manager thinks I'm crazy for turning down all that money, but I'm very picky.

I've been doing the Fonda workout: the Peter Fonda workout. That's where I wake up, take a hit of acid, smoke a joint, and go to my sister's house and ask her for money.

Some guys said 'Here's bop!' Wham! They said, 'Here's something we can make money on!' Wham! 'Here's a comedian!' Wham! Here's a guy who talks funny talk!'

And the back of his anorak was leaping up and down, and people were chucking money to him. I said 'Do you earn a living doing that?' He said 'Yes, this my livelihood.'

The lady across the hall tried to rob a department store . . . with a pricing gun. She said, "Give me all of the money in the vault, or I'm marking down everything in the store."

My wife gets all the money I make. I just get an apple and clean clothes every morning.

Everybody is afraid they won't have any money after they die, but Jack Benny discovered a way to take it with him. He had his appendix taken out and a piggy bank put in.

I didn't take anything from anyone - first of all. Second of all, I opened a comedy club with money that I saved over 25 years. I created jobs.

Jimmy Carr is a very nice man who works incredibly hard and has donated loads of money to good causes. He's done absolutely nothing illegal.

One day a guy tried to rob me on the street, and I had no money. So I charged him.

Yes, the fans are going to get their money's worth. It's like...and everything on there is funny. It's not like random crap they put in a movie. I think it's all very funny, so.

The best way to ruin a comedy is to throw a lot of money at it.

With Jerry Bruckheimer, you know you'll get your money's worth. You're getting huge action sequences, it's going to be funny, and you know it's going to look great.

Money makes a man laugh.

My Vegas act is how I make my money.

I knew so little about money I used to sign my check, "Love, Rita."

The arts community still has a long lasting cynicism of the importance, or the artistic value, of comedy. Comedy is just farting about for money.