Quotes About Comedy

Cancer is probably the most unfunny thing in the world, but I'm a comedian, and even cancer couldn't stop me from seeing the humor in what I went through.

Humor heals the heckler.

If you've got the comedy eye, you can look at any situation and see the humor in it while others don't.

There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?

Once you realize what a joke everything is, being the Comedian is the only thing that makes sense.

There are many things we can live without but a sense of humor is not one of them!

The funniest people I know always seem to be the ones surrounded by darkness. And that's probably why they're the funniest. The deeper the pit, the more humor you need to dig yourself out of it.

The person who has a sense of humor is not just more relaxed in the face of a potentially stressful situation, but is more flexible in his approach.

Getting on a plane, I told the ticket lady, "Send one of my bags to New York, send one to Los Angeles, and send one to Miami." She said, "We can't do that!" I told her, "You did it last week!"

If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.

I think one of the dangers of humor is becoming seduced by it and sacrificing the story for a few laughs.

If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?

I was at a bar nursing a beer. My nipple was getting quite soggy.

Humor is the only reason to live.

I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long.

If Spiderman was real, and I was a criminal, and he shot me with his web, I would say, "Dude, thanks for the hammock."

I only dated one Asian girl, but she was very Asian. She was a panda.

Another term for balloon is bad breath holder.

I normally don't do requests. Unless, of course, I have been asked to do so.

Humor is also a way of saying something serious.

I got pulled over by a cop, and he said, 'do you know the speed limit here is 55 miles per hour?'. So I said, 'oh, that's OK, I'm not going that far.'

There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.

I went to the dentist. He said "Say Aaah." I said "Why?" He said "My dog's died."