Quotes About Quote

This is Frank Carson, News at Ten, Sober.

What a coincidence, they both go to College and I'm a rapist!

Busy yourselves with this, you damned walruses, while the rest of use proceed with the libretto.

Donald Trump's humor is hostile to a fault.

I got a smoke alarm at home, but really it's more like a 9-volt-battery-slowly-drainer.

Why is it lemon juice contains mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?

No charm, no humor, no wit -- and a personality which can only be described as 'icky.' .

He has fought many battles with us" (Jace) By which you mean one battle" muttered Simon. "Two if you count the one I was a rat

Latin is already a dead language, man... don't make it any deader.

The Lone Ranger of vampires. Did that make me Tonto?

I gave up on cussing - I'd run out of words filthy enough - and just started praying.

It's so shameful of me: I like you.

Not all. Some of them he probably lectured to death.

I've never stayed at a bed and breakfast. If I did, I figure you would start to get hungry! "Is that all you got around here? Well, maybe you can direct me to a chair lunch dinner."

I try to have all my characters have a sense of humor. To me the most interesting thing is a desperate character. I think desperation is funny.

Style and taste do not have anything to do with the other. It's the difference between wit and humor.

A college of wit-crackers cannot flout me out of my humor. Dost thou think I care for a satire or an epigram?

If the East Timorians decide to revolt, Im sure Ill have a statement.

I only like sports that Bond villains played.

I often use humor as a tool in my writing, and sometimes that works and sometimes it sits alone just as a funny line.

I've known Alan Zweibel since 1975, and I've always had this sneaking suspicion that he might possess a sense of humor. After reading CLOTHING OPTIONAL, I'm almost sure he does.

I don't see how we can allow public dollars to fund programs where spite and hate is the core of the message.

Since I became a knitting humor writer, I seem to be understood a little better - at least for the purposes of social discourse.

That you, sister. May you be the mother of a bishop.