Quotes About Dating

Whenever I want a really nice meal, I start dating again.

One woman I was dating called and said, 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.

My mom always complains about my lack of a boyfriend. Well, next time she asks, I'm going to tell her I'm dating two different guys...Mr. Duracell and Mr. Energizer.

I know there are people who claim to enjoy dating, just like I know there are people who claim to enjoy a cold shower in the morning.

Are you letting culture, not scripture, determine your sexuality, how you date, how you present yourself, how you engage in certain relationships with members of the opposite sex? We need to be very clear that the way we do life is different than the rest of the world.

Most people are scared to try this approach, because they think "no" really means "no." In dating, it most definitely does—but in business, surprisingly often, it doesn't. To get from "no" to "yes," however, you need to make the right moves. Here's what to do.

Boys in their twenties are a waste of time. They have nothing to offer conversationally; they're immature. I feel like I have a better shot with someone in his thirties.

I like funny guys and those, for some reason, tend to be nerdy guys.

I am dating, but it is hard to find someone quick enough and funny enough. I am quite demanding.

I'm still going on bad dates when by now I should be in a bad marriage.

There are nice, funny, totally good-looking guys out there. You just have to know where to look…and apparently, where NOT to look.

Girls are always complaining that they can never meet a nice guy. Nice guys are everywhere. The problem isn't that there aren't any nice guys, the problem is that all of the nice guys are ugly.

You should get a better boyfriend. One with an IQ higher than a turnip.

The goal of online dating is to get offline as quickly as possible.

Watching your daughter being collected by her date feels like handing over a million dollar Stradivarius to a gorilla.

About age 30 most women think about having children, most men think about dating them.

I've dated men my age, younger than me and older. The only difference is the young ones are quicker at taking out the garbage.

I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.

The closest I ever came to a menage-a-trois was when I dated a schizophrenic.

Woman should stop going for the bad guys, stop looking so far when the good ones are right there.

I don't have sex with everybody I date, intimacy changes everything. When sex is part of the conversation then there is a sense of entitlement for that woman.

I'm dating a woman now who, evidently, is unaware of it.

In courtship a man pursues a woman until she catches him.

I have no luck with women. I once went on a date and asked the woman if she'd brought any protection. She pulled a switchblade on me.