Quotes About Faith

Satan walks nowhere on this Earth, nor has he ever, save where he treads within the human heart.

The moment you betray your heart is the moment you lose everything.

An important function of theology is to keep religion tied to reason and reason to religion. Both roles are of essential importance for humanity.

Religion is like a blind man looking in a black room for a black cat that isn't there, and finding it.

It often happens that I wake up at night and begin to think about a serious problem and decide I must tell the Pope about it. Then I wake up completely and remember that I am the Pope.

Never place a period where God has placed a comma.

I think God's going to come down and pull civilization over for speeding.

Does God have a sense of humor? He must have if He created us.

To most Christians, the Bible is like a software license. Nobody actually reads it. They just scroll to the bottom and click 'I agree'.

God likes a little humor, as is evidence by the fact that he made the monkeys, the parrot -- and some of you people.

If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons.

I feel much freer now that I am certain the pope is the Antichrist.

A dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest.

We are at fault for not slaying the Jews.

False hope is better than no hope at all.

In the beginning there was nothing. God said, 'Let there be light!' And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better.

It is the test of a good religion whether you can joke about it.

I remember I was so depressed I was going to jump out a window on the tenth floor; they sent a priest up to talk to me and he said, ' On your mark...'

If you really believe death leads to eternal bliss then why are you wearing a seatbelt?

The Devil fears the word of God, He can't bite it; it breaks his teeth.

God has a most wicked sense of humor.

Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end.

Man makes plans . . . and God laughs.

Of course I believe in hell. I have three brothers.