Quotes About Faith

You rush a miracle worker, you get lousy miracles!

I think God has a tremendous sense of humor.

I hope God speaks English. If I get up to heaven and have to point at a menu, I'm gonna be pissed.

Are the gods not just?' 'Oh no, child. What would become us us if they were?

You can handle anything if you think you can. Just keep your cool and your sense of humor.

The saints are never the kind of killjoy spinster aunts who go in for faultfinding and lack all sense of humor.

A church is a place in which gentlemen who have never been to Heaven brag about it to persons who will never get there.

When God gives you AIDS - and God does give you AIDS, by the way - make lemonAIDS.

All men are born with a nose and ten fingers, but no one was born with a knowledge of God.

Isn't an agnostic just an atheist without balls?

And yet, people still turn to Jesus. You will notice though that the kind of people who turn to Jesus tend to be the sort of people who haven't done that well with everybody else.

I don't believe you really know God if you do not recognize His sense of humor.

I think God has a sense of humor, and the way my lessons come from God is very funny. I have to laugh at myself even if it's a tough lesson.

Thank God for Darwin, eh?

If Jesus had known that his image would end up on Justin Bieber's calf, he would've never started Christianity.

What kind of Christmas present would Jesus ask Santa for?

What would a Mohammedan vampire do if faced with a cross?

And with a little sense of humor we can say that there are Christian bats who prefer the shadows to the light of the presence of the Lord.

Jesus died for your sins. I'm doing it for your mere entertainment dollar.

Do I think faith will be an important part of being a good president? Yes, I do.

Sin cannot tear you away from him [Christ] even though you commit adultery a hundred times a day and commit as many murders.

Whoever wants to be a Christian should tear the eyes out of his reason.

I have a great mind to believe in Christianity for the mere pleasure of fancying I may be damned.

It is a sin to believe evil of others but it is seldom a mistake.