Quotes About Health

She gets naughty with her Pilates body And she thinks it's really funny when her nose goes bloody

You know you're getting fat when your socks don't fit.

I tell you, it's funny because the only time I think about HIV is when I have to take my medicine twice a day.

The typical old-fashioned diet (in the nineteenth century) was so bad it almost assembled modern dieting.

I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'have you got anything for wind?' So he gave me a kite.

If you're sick, watch funny movies.

I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes.

Serkin was so sick he almost died for three days.

People should just be aware of how they are eating... yesterday I had a McDonald's breakfast and pizza too - but that's bad.

I had a tumor. But it was great.

My uncle Jimmy took liver salts twice a day for 40 years. He died on Sunday, was buried Wednesday and the following Friday they had to go to the cemetery to beat his liver to death with a stick.

Bacon is like the opposite of medicine. It's like, "Take that, Lipitor."

I've never eaten a Hot Pocket and then afterwards been, I'm glad I ate that. I'm always like, I'm gonna die.

It should not be an act of social disobedience to light a cigarette. Unless you're actually a doctor working at an incubator.

We all know smoking is bad. I know I'm going to quit someday, if I thought I wasn't I'd quit now.

How did I ever get sick? I've already had everything.

I'm not sure how healthy bacon is in general, but I know it's incredibly delicious.

The real question is how do you stay funny in your 70s and 80s? And that's a real accomplishment, you know, the longevity.

Give an average baby a fair chance, and if it doesn't do something it oughtn't to a doctor should be called in at once.

Whenever you get an inflamed tendon, you've got a problem. OK, here's the next pitch to Gene Tendon.

Cancer is always funny.

Last week I got a flu that I caught, 'cause my daughter coughed ... into my mouth.

I do have a 22-inch waist, I will say that.

Yeah, I'm not into sports. If someone told me I had athlete's foot, I'd say that's not my foot!