Quotes About Understanding

That's not intuitive knowledge.

The lesson for the rest of us is that if we want to make people care, we've got to tap into the things they care about. When everybody taps into the same thing, an arms race emerges. To avoid it, we've either got to shift onto new turf, as Thompson did, or find associations that are distinctive for our ideas.

it was like "peeling an onion" where we were going just slightly deeper on each exchange and when finished, we had moved quite a bit.

What Shamu Taught Me About a Happy Marriage," became the most e-mailed article on the Times website in 2006, and it led to a book on the same topic.

the value of asking more questions and listening to the answers.

The error lies in our inclination to attribute people's behavior to the way they are rather than to the situation they are in.

Statistics aren't inherently helpful; it's the scale and context that make them so.

Our relationships are stronger when we perceive that our partners are responsive to us. (The term used frequently is "perceived partner responsiveness.") Responsiveness encompasses three things: Understanding: My partner knows how I see myself and what is important to me. Validation: My partner respects who I am and what I want. Caring: My partner takes active and supportive steps in helping me meet my needs.

There are, in fact, only two ways to beat the Curse of Knowledge reliably. The first is not to learn anything. The second is to take your ideas and transform them.

When you want someone to behave in a new way, explain the "new way" clearly. Don't assume the new moves are obvious.

Be simple. Not simple in terms of "dumbing down" or "sound bites." You don't have to speak in monosyllables to be simple. What we mean by "simple" is finding the core of the idea.

This is the Curse of Knowledge. Once we know something, we find it hard to imagine what it was like not to know it. Our knowledge has "cursed" us. And it becomes difficult for us to share our knowledge with others, because we can't readily re-create our listeners' state of mind.

Sometimes, in life, we can't get our bearings until we trip over the truth.

What she gained was the insight that comes from experience.

A good change leader never thinks, "Why are these people acting so badly? They must be bad people." A change leader thinks, "How can I set up a situation that brings out the good in these people?

The Curse of Knowledge: when we are given knowledge, it is impossible to imagine what it's like to LACK that knowledge.

If I already intuitively "get" what you're trying to tell me, why should I obsess about remembering it? The danger, of course, is that what sounds like common sense often isn't.... It's your job, as a communicator, to expose the parts of your message that are uncommon sense. (p.72)

Common sense is the enemy of sticky messages, if I already "get" what you're trying to tell me, why should I be obsessed about remembering it.

As we gain information we are more likely to focus on what we don't know :" Someone who knows the state capitals of 17 of 50 states may be proud of her knowledge. But someone who knows 47 may think of herself as not knowing 3 capitals

You don't have to speak monosyllables to be simple. What we mean by simple is finding the core of the idea.

Stories should put knowledge into a frame work that is more lifelike.

Knowledge curses us, if we find it hard to imagine what it was like not to know it. And it becomes difficult to share our knowledge with others because we can't readily re-create our listener's state of mind.

The Aha! experience is much more satisfying when it's preceded by the huh experience.

Love says, "I'm with you, let's deal with it.