Quotes About Quips

If sarcasm were gold, she would have just made her fortune.

The last man that makes a joke owns it.

I love to engage in repartee with people who are stupider than I am.

I enjoy my pettiness with a dose of wit.

One night she told me to put out the garbage. I told her "you cooked it, you take it out".

It's just another of Robin's sayings. Like, 'Holy strawberries, Batman, we're in a jam! Or, Holy Kleenex, Batman, it was right under our nose and we blew it!

You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.

It's difficult to be clean and clever at the same time, but a lot of our stuff was.

William: You'd look better with your hair chopped off. Reggie: You'd look better with your face chopped off.

Zingers should glow with intelligence as well as drip with contempt.

Mistress," the minstrel frowned, "if you were any sharper, we could sell you at the fair for scissors.

She asked me why I always had something flip to say. I said that I didn't know, but having been blessed with the gift, I felt obliged to use it.

You're a clever one. Her eyes twinkled with humor. We'll have very clever children.

Right ... And I'm not sayin' that if brains were water, you wouldn't have enough to baptise a flea.

Jeff Beachum, Sergeant of Snark, Wielder of Witticism, Dominator of the Double Entendre, completely ran out of things to say.

Please, I always use fresh sarcasm, never canned.

I love to engage in repartee with people who are stupider than I am.

Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?

She asked me why I always had something flip to say. I said that I didn't know, but having been blessed with the gift, I felt obliged to use it.

Wit has truth in it; wise-cracking is simply calisthenics with words.

One time G.K. Chesterton, the rolypologist, was patted on the stomach by his adversary, George Bernard Shaw, a beanpole of an infidel, and was asked what they were going to name the baby. Chesterton replied immediately that if it was a boy, John, if a girl, then Mary. But if it turned out to only be gas, they were going to name it George Bernard Shaw.

Are you always a smartass?' Nope. Sometimes I'm asleep.

Are you always a smartass?' Nope. Sometimes I'm asleep.

Thanks, you don't look so hot yourself.