Quotes About Identity

I am originally from Indiana. I know what most of you are thinking: Indiana - mafia.

Stupid National Anthem... Look at this flag; Two bears fighting over a pineapple. What kind of message does that send to the world? "Come to Belarus, where wild animals will steal your fruit."

If I book a hotel it's actually very funny. It's very nice to be a genuine Mr Smith.

I have so many liver spots, I ought to come with a side of onions.

The funny thing about me that most people never really understand is that, at heart, I'm really a jock.

Back home they call me the tie-dye shirt kid. Well, that and faggot.

Here's a picture of me with REM. That's me in the corner.

Wow, we're identical!

My hair has never been my greatest feature, so that was funny enough unto itself that my hair became so focused on.

I'm funny. I'm a comedian. I'm not a clown.

I'm like a fatter version of Amy Winehouse and a skinnier version of Lily Allen.

We named all our children Kid. Well, they have different first names, like Hey Kid, You Kid, Dumb Kid . . .

Yeah, that's funny, huh?...Something hurts you real bad and you get used to it. Like being hurt becomes part of who you are.

I was making my living from a joke about my appearance that I didn't understand, and in a way still don't, because when I look in a mirror it doesn't seem funny to me.

In Russia, if a male athelete loses he becomes a female athelete.

I've got a bit of Scottish Blood... On my kitchen knife!!

It was funny on '24' because I'm a Scots-Canadian, and I was working with the great Scottish actor Tony Curran, and we were both playing Russian gangsters.

Ben Stiller isn't funny - honest. Ben Stiller is very funny, and smart, and cute, too, in a neurotic, New York kind of way.

It's a bit embarrassing watching myself, but I couldn't get someone else to play me, that would've been stupid.

Incredible to think isn't it, that every single Scotsman, started off as a scotch egg. Old and gingery.

I'd basically have trouble with any job that doesn't require me to wear silly clothes and talk in funny voices.

Allow me to put the record straight. I am forty-six and have been for some years past.

Matt would stare at Andrew for 10 minutes. It's depressing that people are different. Everyone should be one person, who should then kill itself in hand-to-hand combat.

Till I was 13, I thought my name was 'Shut Up.'