Quotes About Identity

You know you have a drinking problem when the bartender knows your name -- and you've never been to that bar before.

You haven't got a letter on yours," George observed. "I suppose she thinks you don't forget your name. But we're not stupid-we know we're called Gred and Forge.

Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus or just a really cool opotamus?

Did you ever wonder if the person in the puddle is real, and you're just a reflection of him?

An Irishman needs three things : silence, cunnning, and exile.

Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, "Do I know you?

I only dated one Asian girl, but she was very Asian. She was a panda.

Trying to define yourself is like trying to bite your own teeth.

People are always introducing me as Sarah Silverman, Jewish comedienne. I hate that! I wish people would see me for who I really am — I'm white!

What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

Pride is all very well, but a sausage is a sausage.

I thought my teeth were white until I washed my face with Noxzema. My teeth are off-white. I'm not even white. I'm off-white. It's a new race; we will prevail!

At least black people knew when they were slaves; you remain clueless.

The true New Yorker secretly believes that people living anywhere else have to be, in some sense, kidding.

Remember, in China when you are one in a million, there are 1,300 other people just like you.

I got ham but I'm not a Hamster

Other than the voices in my head, I think I'm pretty normal.

My name is "A Pimp named Slickback" Wait... A Pimp?? ... Named Slickback. Yes, please say the whole thing if you would. Yes, that includs the "A Pimp Named" part. Yes Tom, everytime.

I was walking in the park and this guy waved at me. Then he said, 'I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else.' I said, 'I am.'

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

Every time I go and shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, 'I'm gonna go shave, too.'

When you look like I do its hard to get a table for one at Chucky Cheese.

I was an incredible Anglophile. I found people who shared the same sense of humor and attitude toward the world.

It's hard to think of yourself as a loser at 2 years old.