Quotes About Identity

Wearing that? Wouldn't you fancy a shapeless cardigan instead? You rock a shapeless cardigan, honey.

I was just thinking how unfortunate it'd be to be a fat girl named Candy.

I get glimpses of the horror of normalcy. Each of these innocents on the street is engulfed by a terror of their own ordinariness. They would do anything to be unique.

While I was gone, somebody rearranged on the furniture in my bedroom. They put it in exactly the same place it was. When I told my roommate, he said: "Do I know you?"

All cows were like other cows, all tigers like all other tigers - What on earth happened to human beings?

in china when you're one in a million, there are 1300 people just like you

I diagnosed my loneliness as premature empty nest syndrome.

If you're black, you got to look at America a little bit different. You got to look at America like the uncle who paid for you to go to college, but who molested you.

I knew a transsexual guy whose only ambition is to eat, drink, and be Mary.

Paddy was in the delivery room when the midwife handed him a black baby. "Is this yours?" she asked "probably" said Paddy "she burns everything else"

Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. Sigh! There's so little hope for advancement.

I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.

I didn't lose my virginity until I was twenty-six. Nineteen vaginally, but twenty-six what my boyfriend calls "the real way".

I'm the munter of my friends. I've got wonky teeth and a lazy eye. My friend Rob is disgusted I'm a heart-throb.

A man says to his mate: "My wife is a twin." His mate says, "How do you tell them apart?" The man says: "Her brother has a beard."

Chicks named Tammy have a greater chance of actually driving a Mercedes than a chick named Mercedes.

The only really sane person in there is Igor, and possibly the turnip. And I'm not sure about the turnip.

I have three kids, one of each.

I think my sense of humor is Jewish. I'm smarter than most white people, which is kind of a Jewish thing, too.

Every comic went through their Mitch Hedberg phase - the glasses, the hair in the face - and you knew immediately when they were doing it.

The English are worried about the Euro being brought in because of loss of national identity and rising prices. In Scotland, people are just worried in case they have to close Poundstretcher.

I failed to fulfill what should have been an interesting role. I couldn't take their formula and bring what I had, my humor, my ideas, and make it my own.

If you're a fish and you want to be a fish-stick, you have to have very good posture.

Humor, a good sense of it, is to Americans what manhood is to Spaniards and we will go to great lengths to prove it.