Quotes About Change

The funny thing about these uniforms is that you hang them in the closet and they get smaller and smaller.

That was in the past - we're in the future now.

The clocks are all turned forward from Funny Time to Right Time. I always remember, "Spring back or Fall in.

My vanity is not dead. I laugh when I see pictures of myself as I am now-maybe so I won't cry, but just because it is really funny how much I've changed.

Whatever happened to the good ole days, when children worked in factories?

One can describe them as a boa: when it feels threatened, it runs to somewhere else.

I used to be stupid but I've turned that situation around 360 degrees.

It has no rhythm, but it will because it's so much faster.

That was perfect. It was just the opposite from what I said yesterday.

It's not that comedy has changed in terms of what's funny. For me, it's changed in that sometimes I don't feel my finger is on the pulse.

I changed my headlights the other day. I put in strobe lights instead! Now when I drive at night, it looks like everyone else is standing still.

At one point he decided enough was enough.

Since I've retired, I eat less, weigh less, train less and care less.

Well, I used to look like this when I was young and now I still do.

The Lord turned water into wine. All I'm suggesting is a trip to the grocery store.

After the Soviet Union collapsed, people thought I wasn't funny anymore.

No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.

I'm happy to start on one topic and end on another one entirely, as long as it's funny.

I used to comb my hair back and do stupid stuff

I've known Chevy Chase for so long, I actually knew him when he was funny!

years ago we would have been burned for this. Now what I am suggesting is that we've advanced.

It's funny how one summer can change everything.

I'm sick and tired of our generation being called the TV generation. What do you expect? We watched Lee Harvey Oswald get his brains blown out all over. How could we change the channel after that?

10 years ago, I would've host Saturday Night Live. But to me, the show has declined. For some reason, humor isn't what it was. It just, to me, it's not as funny as it was, not as sharply satirical.