Quotes About Wit

My humour is spot on.

A mimicry artiste should be spontaneous and he should be able to crack jokes on the spot.

To be amused at what you read - that is the great spring of quotation.

I'm interested in the economy of words and forms: jokes, aphorisms, copywriting, advertising, that way of writing when meaning has to be squeezed into as few words as possible.

Doing stand up helps - thinking on your feet definitely comes in handy when it's a live show.

[To the man who came up to her at a party and exclaimed effusively, 'Tallulah! I haven't seen you for 41 years!':] I thought I told you to wait in the car.

I like men with quick wit, good conversation and a great sense of humour. I love banter. I want a man to like me for me - I want him to be authentic.

There's a man outside with a big black mustache. - Tell him I've got one.

'T is an old maxim in the schools, That flattery 's the food of fools; Yet now and then your men of wit Will condescend to take a bit.

Men who retain irony are not to be trusted. They can't always resist an impulse to tickle themselves.

If a man's wit be wandering, let him study the mathematics; for in demonstrations, if his wit be called away never so little, he must begin again.

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.

For sheer sexiness, a man must be beautiful. Funny. yes. Clever, no.

Great men may jest with saints; 'tis wit in them; But, in the less foul profanation.

No! Please! I'll tell you whatever you want to know!" the man yelled. "Really?" said Vimes. "What's the orbital velocity of the moon?" "What?" "Oh, you'd like something simpler?

It is many times with a fraudulent Design that men stick their corrupt Doctrine with the Cloves of other mens Wit.

A woman says to a man, "I haven't seen you around here." "Yes, I just got out of jail for killing my wife." "So you're single!"

I've always said, I like my coffee like I like my men... I don't drink coffee.

Of Manners gentle, of Affections mild; In Wit a man; Simplicity, a child.

There's many witty men whose brains can't fill their bellies.

The impromptu reply is precisely the touchstone of the man of wit.

As we celebrate President Reagan's remarkable career and historic legacy, we also celebrate a man of strong character, deep conviction, unforgettable charm, and wonderful wit.

Cunning is only the mimic of discretion, and may pass upon weak men in the same manner as vivacity is often mistaken for wit, and gravity for wisdom.

A Scot is a man who keeps the Sabbath, and everything else he can lay his hands on.