Quotes About Wit

Swetland remembered, "Ficus declared that if anyone asked what the Big O51 of anything was, he was simply going to say, 'I'm far too handsome to answer that question.

I wasn't kissing her, I was whispering in her mouth.

He called me a quadrilateral astronomical incandescent son of a bitch.

When people ask me what I did over the weekend I always squint and say, "Why, what did you hear?"

Pen and ink is wit's plough.

You just got Ginsburned!

Even as a little child, I've always had that comedian kind of attitude.

If you were half as funny as you think you are, you'd be twice as funny as you really are.

When you lead a life of scholarship you can't be bothered with the humorous realities, you know, tits, that kind of thing.

I think you have to be cool to be a good flirt, and I don't think I'm very cool.

You aren't too smart, are you? I like that in a man.

It is difficult to be funny and great at the same time. Aristophanes and Moliere and Mark Twain must sit below Aristotle and Bossuet and Emerson.

I think humor is warmer, and wit is colder. Wit is judgment, whereas humor invites some sort of response.

I know I'm smarter than an armadillo

I think humor is important for all of us, and a great comedian is a great treasure.

Reader: Dear Mr. Snicket, What is the best way to keep a secret? Lemony Snicket : Tell it to everyone you know, but pretend you are kidding.

Yes, I know," Isadora said, and then read her poem, leaning forward so Carmelita Spats would not overhear: "I would rather eat a bowl of vampire bats than spend an hour with Carmelita Spats." The Baudelaires giggled and then covered their mouths so nobody would know they were laughing at Carmelita. "That was great," Klaus said. "I like the part about the bowl of bats.

Don't be a smart aleck," Hungry said. "But it cheers me up," I said.

Not only am I intelligent," Genghis agreed, "but I'm also very smart.

It's a secret code," said Calvin. "Girls are not not like boys. If a boy wants to kill you, he says 'I'm going to kill you.' If a girl wants to kill you, she says, 'We need to talk.' That's the code." I gasped. "Has a girl ever wanted to talk to you?" I asked. "Yup," said Calvin. "How come you're still alive?" I asked. "I vomited," said Calvin.

Satire is focused bitterness.

George S. Kaufman, a prince of wit, once remarked that he liked to write with his collaborator, Moss Hart, because Hart was so lucky. "In my case," said Kaufman, "it's gelt by association.

No one is satisfied with his position, but every one is satisfied with his wit

The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.