Quotes About Wit

She who laughs last laughs the laughingest.

She has a Billy goat brain and a mockingbird mouth!

They are vulgar and dirty-minded and alien to grace, and I would not, if I could -- which I hasten to say I cannot -- cross their obscenities with a wit which is foreign to them and gild their futilities with the glamour which by birth and breeding and performance they do not possess.

Once when he [Demonax, a supposed Cynic sage] came upon two uncouth philosophers inquiring and wrangling with one another--one of them putting absurd questions, the other answering perfectly irrelevantly--he said "Don't you think, my friends, that one of these guys is milking a he-goat and the other putting a sieve underneath it?

He once saw two philosophers engaged in a very unedifying game of cross questions and crooked answers. 'Gentlemen,' said he, 'here is one man milking a billy-goat, and another catching the proceeds in a sieve.

Humor is the last refuge of the damned.

that girl has no more sense than a postage stamp.

These napkins are more holy than righteous," Mrs. Wapshot said, and most of her conversation at table was made up of just such chestnuts, saws and hoary puns.

Happy Valentine's Day to the person I've slept with most recently.

Yeah, my boyfriend does this REAAAALLYY cute thing..where he doesn't exist.

A good way to breakup with your girlfriend is to introduce her as your ex girlfriend at parties. It softens the blow.

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap

Real friends don't get offended when you insult them. They smile and call you something even more offensive.

Memory is the friend of wit, but the treacherous ally of invention; there are many books that owe their success to two things; good memory of those who write them, and the bad memory of those who read them

Words may show a man's wit but actions his meaning

Sarcasm is just one of the many services I offer to people who ask dumb questions.

If you're up against a smart opponent, make him think himself to death.

Wit defies deathbut death defines wit

Education always continues. We all know that beauty fades, but what stays is a person's personality, their sense of humor, their wit, what they're interested in. That's what really shines.

There are all kinds of humor and I have largely indulged in clean comedy.

Good late-night humor can work at any time of the day.

I really like stuff that makes people laugh.

If you can get a laugh out of a name, you're ahead of the game.

I just like to make people laugh.