Quotes About Wit

Sharpen that wit of yours anymore and someone might think you actually have a point.

Made you a Picasso this morning." Nick smirked, presenting the nutritionist with his tray, upon which he'd arranged his tofu sausage, eggs, and English muffin into the unmistakable shape of a penis.

I suppose I miss the British cynicism and the humor.

I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it.

I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.

There is no such whetstone, to sharpen a good wit and encourage a will to learning, as is praise.

How big are you, really? I always say that I'm two inches... from the floor.

Curates are such triflers.

The marvelous thing about a joke with a double meaning is that it can only mean one thing.

Eau de Better Than Manure," said Doris. "The farm girl's friend.

He who laughs last laughs the laughiest.

People either have comedy or they don't. You can't teach it to them.

We know you have a great mind and all, Mother, but you don't have much sense.

No one likes the fellow who is all rogue, but we'll forgive him almost anything if there is warmth of human sympathy underneath his rogueries. The immortal types of comedy are just such men.

I was a class clown. At 12, I was definitely clowning. I was making all the jokes. But I was smart, so the teachers didn't know what to do with me.

Don't set your wit against a child.

I like parting shots; you can't take them seriously and they're often pretty funny.

All I wanted was humor and wisdom.

but can one "get" an edge any more than one can "get" a sense of humor? Or do you fake it, the way a humorless businessman memorizes jokes and is considered "a riot," leaving parties before he runs out of material?

He affected to say some things, that, tho' trite, were sententious, and carried with them the air of observation. There is some degree of merit in having such a memory, as will help a person to repeat and apply other mens wit with some tolerable propriety. But when he attempted to walk alone, he said things that it was impossible a man of common sense could say.

What is an Epigram? A dwarfish whole, Its body brevity, and wit its soul.

People of humor are always in some degree people of genius.

humor. "Where's Rennie?" Not much

Always carry a large flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and further, always carry a small snake.