Quotes About Wit

Don't cut my throat, I may want to do that later myself.

My father was the kind of guy who'd always say 'Throw out any subject and I got a joke on it.'

I try to play Hogan in an off-hand throwing lines way.

I'm the shade queen and no one throws shade better than me!

My job is to bring the tickle. I know what's funny.

Jack Kennedy brought an "intense concentration" and a "gently teasing humor" to the dinner table, along with what Katherine Graham called his habit of "vacuum cleaning your brain.

It's simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and say the opposite.

My pecker's a poet." "How's that?" "He's a longfellow.

"Ha! ha!" quoth he, "full plain I see,The Devil knows how to row."

No mind is thoroughly well-organized that is deficient in a sense of humor.

Votre mari n'est pas là madame Eiffel - Non il est allé faire une tour.

Do you even know the difference between a girder and a joist?' he asks pompously. 'Ah, well, yes,' answers the Irishman in his laconic way. 'Goethe wrote Faust and Joyce wrote Ulysses.

Going beyond sarcasm straight to out-and-out insult is delicious, like wriggling out of a pair of Spanx.

Tennis: the most perfect combination of athleticism, artistry, power, style, and wit. A beautiful game, but one so remorselessly travestied by the passage of time.

I feel like we can prove in real time the old trope that comedy is tragedy plus time.

Although it is generally known, I think it's about time to announce that I was born at a very early age.

The easiest time to be funny is during a fairly serious situation. That way you can break the ice.

Whatever has "wit enough to keep it sweet" defies corruption and outlasts all time; but the wit must be of that outward and visible order which needs no introduction or demonstration at our hands.

I'm not on all the time. I like to have fun and be funny, but I'm much more of a thinker.

Last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it.

I'm Irish, so I'm messing all the time. Which means, I'm having a laugh. I'm always making jokes.

I don't have to tell you folks about scuba diving. So, that'll save some time.

Sometimes we are inclined to class those who are once-and-a-half witted with the half-witted, because we appreciate only a third part of their wit.

I like girls to be wild but at the same time beautifully brought up and very funny.