Quotes About Expectations

The finest clothing made is a person's skin, but, of course, society demands something more than this.

The finest clothing made is a person's own skin, but, of course, society demands something more than this.

Tomorrow night I appear for the first time before a Boston audience of 4000 critics.

Hollywood wants to make women so perfect. Perfect hair. Perfect job. Perfect manners... I know some of the most beautiful women, and they are so weird. That's what makes them funny and captivating.

I'd have to be superman to do some of the things I'm supposed to have done, I've been at six different places at six different times.

I'd worship the ground you walked on if only you walked in a better neighborhood.

I bought my brother some gift-wrap for Christmas. I took it to the gift wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping.

Everyone tries to get you to dance at clubs. They come up to you and say "You gotta dance! you gotta dance!" And then I dance, and they're like, "Not like that!"

Nobody asked how you looked, just what you shot.

Jim Carrey, a comic genius, has a harder time overcoming the public's desire for him to be funny simply because he's so good at it.

I like seeing what the comedian thinks is funny, not just what they think I'll think is funny.

Everything's amazing right now, and nobody's happy.

Myrnin was silent for a beat, and then he said, "Bob would be very disappointed in you.

I am dating, but it is hard to find someone quick enough and funny enough. I am quite demanding.

Katherine Heigl, she was exactly the opposite of what I thought she'd be like. She smokes cigarettes, or she did then, and she's got a truck-driver's mouth, and she's really funny.

Doing stand-up takes the fun out of being funny.

Don't clap I'm not a jazz band for Christ's sake.

I wanted to be a "serious artist." Serious artists didn't tend to be funny. But that didn't get me a lot of attention. And just growing older, you can't help it, you take things less seriously.

Parker's grand slam is the same as going 4 for 4, even though he went 1 for 4.

Back then, if you had a sore arm, the only people concerned were you and your wife. Now it's you, your wife, your agent, your investment counselor, your stockbroker, and your publisher.

I'm still going on bad dates when by now I should be in a bad marriage.

There are nice, funny, totally good-looking guys out there. You just have to know where to look…and apparently, where NOT to look.

When I was born I brought no joy, my father said he wanted a boy!

I'm definitely guilty of thinking something is funny but thinking the audience won't. Then three years later I will finally try it and it'll kill them. I got to give them more credit.