Quotes About Adaptation

A decrepit society shuns humor as a decrepit individual shuns drafts.

The best way to make a fire with two sticks is to make sure one of them is a match.

We have normality. I repeat, we have normality. Anything you still can't cope with is therefore your own problem.

You have the Midas touch. Everything you touch turns to a muffler.

If I had nine of my fingers missing I wouldn't type any slower.

The future isn't just something that happens. It's a brutal force, with a great sense of humor, that'll steamroll you if you're not watching.

Every comic went through their Mitch Hedberg phase - the glasses, the hair in the face - and you knew immediately when they were doing it.

I failed to fulfill what should have been an interesting role. I couldn't take their formula and bring what I had, my humor, my ideas, and make it my own.

If you're a fish and you want to be a fish-stick, you have to have very good posture.

When action grows unprofitable, gather information; when information grows unprofitable, sleep.

A reasonable amount of fleas is good for a dog; it keeps him from brooding over being a dog.

The main evolutionary significance of humor is that it gets us from the closed mode to the open mode quicker than anything else.

Before we got engaged, he never farted. Now it's a second language.

My Irish mate told me, if you file down the edges of a 50 pence piece, you can use it as a 10p.

I used to carry a rabbit's foot for luck. Then it was a monkey's paw. Now it's a camel's toe.

Remember that the wit, humour, and jokes of most mixed companies are local. They thrive in that particular soil, but will not often bear transplanting.

The subtle differences in language and humor that get lost in translation, for example, make it almost impossible for big companies to do something that will appeal at home and abroad.

Last night I ordered a whole meal in French. Even the waiter was amazed - it was a Chinese restaurant!

I warn people, your 40s will require massive amounts of humor and humility.

Old florists never die. They just make other arrangements.

I used to be Irish Catholic. Now I'm an American - you know, you grow.

It does no good to bark at the television, I said. I've tried it too. So he stopped.

Opposable thumbs are overrated.

Whatever doesn't kill them, makes them make reality TV shows...