Quotes About Celebrity

Politics is just show business for ugly people.

I can remember Doris Day before she was a virgin.

I have a funny family, but none of them are remotely in show business.

Jude Law is in so many movies, that I went to one, and when I walked out they were showing another on the back wall.

Joan Collins unfortunately can't be with us tonight. She's busy attending the birth of her next husband.

I once shook hands with Pat Boone and my whole right side sobered up.

I was sued by a woman who claimed that she became pregnant because she watched me on television and I bent her contraceptive coil.

Roger Ebert has had his right thumb trademarked. Now the police will actually have to pay him if he ever has to give a thumbprint.

In Hollywood, if you don't have happiness you send out for it.

They used to shoot her through gauze. You should shoot me through linoleum.

Hosting the Oscars is like making love to a beautiful woman - it's something I only get to do when Billy Crystal's out of town.

In Beverly Hills...they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.

They've great respect for the dead in Hollywood, but none for the living.

Ever since they found out that Lassie was a boy, the public has believed the worst about Hollywood.

Hollywood's a place where they'll pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss, and fifty cents for your soul. I know, because I turned down the first offer often enough and held out for the fifty cents.

Run for office? No. I've slept with too many women, I've done too many drugs, and I've been to too many parties.

I'm affectionately known by Elton John as either Sylvia Disc or the Bionic Christian.

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

Women are not in love with me but with the picture of me on the screen. I am merely the canvas on which women paint their dreams.

They're right to think that about me, because I'm the person most likely to sleep with my female fans, I genuinely love other women. And I think they know that.

I always play women I would date.

I don't wanna hear nobody complain that they're getting paid all this money and people won't leave them alone. It's part of it.

Sara suddenly had celebrity. Funny thing was, the sun didn't rise any later. The cow didn't milk herself, the weeds didn't stop growing, the tub of wash water didn't get any lighter, and corn bread didn't miraculously appear on plates every night. Day to day, Sara's life didn't change one whit. At least not right away.

I think in my case, I had no choice but to have a good sense of humor. I grew up with my dad, Danny Thomas, and George Burns and Bob Hope and Milton Berle and Sid Caesar and all those guys were at our house all the time and telling jokes and making each other laugh.