Quotes About Terry Pratchett

The invisible people knew that happiness is not the natural state of mankind, and is never achieved from the outside in.

The elevator shaft was a kind of heat sink. Hot food was cold by the time it arrived. Cold food got colder. No one knew what would happen to ice cream, but it would probably involve some rewriting of the laws of thermodynamics.

They were also slightly less intelligent than he was. This is a quality you should always pray for in your would-be murderer.

Might have just been an innocent bystander, sir,' said Carrot 'What, in Ankh-Morpork?' 'Yes, sir.' 'We should have grabbed him, then, just for the rarity value

And the nice thing about a stake through the heart was that it also worked on non-vampires.

The demon coughed nervously. Demons do not breathe; however, every intelligent being, whether it breathes or not, coughs nervously at some time in its life. And this was one of them as far as the demon was concerned.

It was a backwards memory of an event in his future so terrifying that it had generated harmonics of fear all the way along his lifeline.

Preston, I don't think this creature could ever find its way into your head. Quite apart from anything else, it seems pretty crowded and complicated to me.

The end of times? said Nanny. Look, Tiff, Esme tol' me to say, if you want to see Esmerelda Weatherwax, then just you look around. She is here. Us witches don't mourn for very long. We are satisfied with happy memories - they're there to be cherished.

But I did not return until half past four this morning and I distinctly remember stubbing my toe on the stairs. I am as drunk as a skunk, Drumknott, which of course means skunks are just as drunk as I. I must say the term is unfamiliar to me, and I had not thought hitherto of skunks in this context, but Mustrum Ridcully was kind enough to enlighten me.

Hrun the Barbarian, who was practilly an academic by Hub standards in that he could think without moving his lips.

You are very clever, said the old man shyly. I would like to eat your brains, one day.

A banker ? Me ? Yes, Mr. Lipwig. But I don't know anything about running a bank! Good. No preconceived ideas. I've robbed banks! Capital! Just reverse your thinking, said Lord Vetinari, beaming. The money should be on the inside .

My strength is as the strength of ten because my heart is pure, said Carrot. Really? Well, there's eleven of them.

I never understood that story, anyway," said Nanny. "I mean, if I knew I'd got a heel that would kill me if someone stuck a spear in it, I'd go into battle wearing very heavy boots—

Here's what I suggest, he said. You pretend that rats can think, and I'll promise to pretend that humans can think, too.

Mistress Weatherwax, you are a natural disputant." "No I ain't!

The nice thing about artificial intelligence is that at least it's better than artificial stupidity.

Ankh-Morpork is a godless city--' 'I thought it had more than three hundred places of worship?' said Maladict. Strappi stared at him in rage that was incoherent until he managed to touch bottom again. 'Ankh-Morpork is a godawful city', he recovered.

If you let your mind dwell on rooms like this, you could end up being oddly sad and full of a strange diffuse compassion which would lead you to believe that it might be a good idea to wipe out the whole human race and start again with amoebas.

Are you staying with us? It could be dangerous,' said William, realizing that he was saying this to a vampire iconographer who undied every time he took a picture.

And the Nac Mac Feegle are, well, they're like tiny little Scottish Smurfs who have seen Braveheart altogether too many times.

We got the spell exactly right. Except for the ingredients. And most of the poetry. And it probably wasn't the right time. And Gytha took most of it home for the cat, which couldn't of been proper.

Greebo turned upon Granny Weatherwax a yellow-eyed stare of self-satisfied malevolence, such as cats always reserve for people who don't like them, and purred. Greebo was possibly the only cat who could snigger in purr.