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Quotes About Responsibility

British scientists have demonstrated that cigarettes can harm your children. Fair enough. Use an ashtray!
~ Jimmy Carr
If you can keep your son off the pipe and your daughter off the pole, you're ahead of the game.
~ Chris Rock
Next to power without honor, the most dangerous thing in the world is power without humor.
~ Eric Sevareid
I do not know if all cops are poets, but I know that all cops carry guns with triggers.
~ Ralph Ellison, Invisible Man
Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that.
~ George Carlin
We are at fault for not slaying the Jews.
~ Martin Luther
The Devil made me do it the first time - the second time I done it on my own
~ Billy Joe Shaver
We need the children of Indonesia and the Philippines to manufacture our freedom of choice.
~ Marc Maron
Conscience is what makes a boy tell his mother before his sister does.
~ Evan Esar
One night she told me to put out the garbage. I told her "you cooked it, you take it out".
~ Rodney Dangerfield
Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.
~ Terry Pratchett, Wyrd Sisters
Are you recycling? Are you!? You just killed a polar bear! YOU!
~ Russell Howard
See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil. Rohypnol
~ Jimmy Carr
Everybody blames the Jews for killing Christ, and the Jews try to pass it off on the Romans. I'm one of the few people who believes it was the blacks.
~ Sarah Silverman
The pollen count, now that's a difficult job. Especially if you've got hay fever.
~ Milton Jones
Here's a shock: An adult who still hangs out in skate parks is a bad parent.
~ Daniel Tosh
Ah, babies! They're more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts.
~ Tina Fey
In order to influence a child, one must be careful not to be that child's parent or grandparent.
~ Don Marquis
Coffee is a way of stealing time that should by rights belong to your older self.
~ Terry Pratchett, Thud!
When in doubt, mumble; when in trouble, delegate; when in charge, ponder.
~ James H. Boren
People must not do things for fun. We are not here for fun. There is no reference to fun in any Act of Parliament.
~ A. P. Herbert
I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.
~ Steven Wright
Paddy was in the delivery room when the midwife handed him a black baby. "Is this yours?" she asked "probably" said Paddy "she burns everything else"
~ Billy Connolly
As young Americans, you have an important responsibility, which is to become good citizens.
~ George W. Bush