Quotes About Surprise

Humor is based on surprise, and surprise is a milder way of saying shock. It's surprise that makes the joke.

If you want to talk to me after the show, I'd be surprised.

For my sister's 50th birthday, I sent her a singing mammogram.

Doctor says to a man, "You're pregnant!" The man says, "How does a man get pregnant?" The doctor says, "The usual way - a little wine, a little dinner...."

Frank once slipped something into the pocket of a luggage handler at the airport and said: "Have a drink on me." The luggage handler later found out it was a tea bag.

Humor has to surprise us; otherwise, it isn't funny. It's a death knell for a writer to be labeled a humorist because then it's not a surprise anymore.

Humor does depend on surprise, and the things that people remember as the funniest things in the world, you look at later and you go, "What? What was that all about?"

The Doctor says, "You'll live to be 60!" "I AM 60!" "See, what did I tell you?"

2 Guys in a health club, one is putting on pantyhose. "Since when do you wear pantyhose?" "Since my wife found it in the glove compartment!"

I didn't notice him coming, but he didn't seem to be looking for an autograph signature

What's that supposed to mean? A wolf's head on a stick. Big wolf barbecue tonight? Bring your own wolf?

I see you brought along your violent little girlfriend. What a nice surprise!" - Saint Dane (The Reality Bug)

The other day someone left a piece of plasticine in my dressing room. I didn't know what to make of it.

Humor needs to come in under cover of darkness, in disguise, and surprise people.

I put hardwood floors on top of wall-to-wall carpet.

I saw a transvestite wearing a T-shirt that said 'Guess'.

So a lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a train-load of terrapins, I thought "That's a turtle disaster".

I heard a guy tell me he liked cherries. I waited to hear if he was going to say "tomatoes", then I realized he like cherries just. That joke is ridiculous.

Oh man, the car could just burst into flames right now and this would be the way to go, huh guys?

Last night I ordered a whole meal in French. Even the waiter was amazed - it was a Chinese restaurant!

It was hidden inside another book. One Valentine was unlikely to ever open." Magnus smiled crookedly. "Simple Recipes for Housewives. No one can say your mother didn't have a sense of humor.

I thought how proud I am to be standing up beside my dad. Never did it occur to me that he would become the gist for cartoonists.

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know.

Jumping Jehoshaphat. O Holy Night.