Quotes About Perspective

Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don't laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions.

He who laughs last ... just didn't get the joke.

Slap-stick comedy is really funny, unless you're the one getting slapped with the stick.

April Fools' is the only day to take people seriously.

The more you exaggerate, the more you will look funny!

I love religious nuts. They make me remember I have them too. So, being a health nut, I scratch them religiously. Just as I do my butt.

Real comedy is not when you laugh at an idiot, it's when the idiot laughs at you.

If I were married, I would be unmarried.

I thought I'd lie on the floor and writhe in pain for a while, " he grunted, "It relaxes me.""It does? Oh - you're being sarcastic. That's a good sign probably.

However, if you do start crying in an argument and someone asks why, you can always say, "I'm just crying because of how wrong you are.

If god meant for people to talk into cellphones, he would've put our mouths on the side of our heads.

Want a little cheese with that whine, maestro?

What is it? Tens, I can see the stick up your arse from here. I'm dying remember? Dying people don't have time for silly moods

How did I end up in this situation? I'm the district sales manager of a napkin factor. Why is my daughter in space?

I love the world, just, you know...not the people in it.

Screw sharks a Transformer could be stretching up on its tippy toes and would still have a mile of cover to eat me.

(About sweeping)....What he was in FACT doing was moving the dirt around with a broom, to give it a change of scenery and a chance to make new friends.

Asia is an entertainment, Europe is a dream, America is an imprisonment and Rest is a nightmare.

Rina's always claimed that I expect too little from life, " Standard said."Then at least you'll never be disappointed.

You know, Hope is also rather interesting, there's just not two of her, Dad teased Nona

My ex wants to come and rescue me.''Too late! I already rescued you. Who does this guy think he is?

The Problem is Not the Problem.The Problem is Your Attitude Towards the Problem

I squinted at her. "You're an adult." "You're an adult too." "But you're an older adult. You've had more practice." Mom leaned back and laughed.

But then again, I shouldn't judge. That is, after all, my pet peeve.