Quotes About Perspective

We Have Different Interpretations

Our Conclusions Reflect Self-Interest

If the block to their listening is that they don't feel heard, then the way to remove that block is by helping them feel heard – by bending over backwards to listen to what they have to say, and perhaps most important, by demonstrating that you understand what they are saying and how they are feeling.

The Principle of Mutual Caretaking. One dynamic to remember at this stage of a difficult conversation is the tendency we all have to believe that our way of doing things is the "right" way. This can lead us to ascribe the problem to something wrong with "the way they are," and to suggest a "solution" that boils down to doing it our way: "If you would just change, there wouldn't be a problem.

As we saw in Chapter 2, often we merely trade our conclusions back and forth, and never get into the process of exploring where these views come from. You have information about yourself that the other person has no access to. That kind of information can be important; consider sharing it. And you have life experiences that are influencing what you think and why, as well as how you feel. When you tell these stories, it puts some meat onto the bones of your views.

A common tendency is to ask for agreement, perhaps because it's reassuring: "Does that make sense?" "Wouldn't you agree?" But asking the other person how they see it differently is more helpful. If you ask for agreement, people may be reluctant to share their doubts and reservations. They aren't sure whether you really want to hear them.

You can begin from the Third Story by saying, "My sense is that you and I see this situation differently. I'd like to share how I'm seeing it, and learn more about how you're seeing it.

Most conversations can be initiated from the Third Story to include both perspectives and invite joint exploration.

Even when we have access to the same data, we tend to notice different things. We are all moving along the same sidewalk, but the historian may notice the brickwork, the jogger the impact on her knees, and the fellow in the wheelchair the areas that are less accessible. We're engulfed by information—far too much to take in—and so we select small samples to pay attention to and ignore the rest.

So they drove again, Vivien sitting up and looking now, but as navigator only, letting the desert scratch its own thorny poetry on the enormous moon.

Your feelings result entirely from how you're thinking right now. It is your thoughts, and not the circumstances of your life, that create all your feelings. You feel the way you think.

Don't bother. The glass is half-empty.

You can't change other people or (some) conditions; you can change only your reactions to them.

Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.

A person's a person, no matter how small.

Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, it's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope.

Adults are just obsolete children and the hell with them.

Set wasn't interested in ruling the galaxy. Or destroying the Jedi. It sounded like a lot of work.

There is only one reality, but there are many ways that reality can be interpreted.

Photographers tend not to photograph what they can't see, which is the very reason one should try to attempt it. Otherwise we're going to go on forever just photographing more faces and more rooms and more places. Photography has to transcend description. It has to go beyond description to bring insight into the subject, or reveal the subject, not as it looks, but how does it feel?

We have a way of making the most extraordinary experience ordinary. We actually work at destroying our miracles. ...

Ecco quello che rivela la nostra origine materiale, spesso passiamo accanto alla felicità senza vederla, senza guardarla, oppure, se l'abbiamo vista e guardata, senza riconoscerla

E' caratteristico degli animi indeboliti vedere tutte le cose attraverso un velo: l'anima si crea da sè i suoi orizzonti, ed è lei che vi crea un cielo tempestoso

Faith isn't denying the reality of your circumstances; faith is denying these circumstances the right to remain in control of your life.